Phenomenon -- oldies but goodies

This word was given to me by Wilma.  Why use it here? Um... because I'm a phenomenon.  


I got nothin'.


I'm off today moving Grandma to her final resting place new apartment.  In celebration, I'm leaving you with a bunch of links to old posts.  My favourite posts.


Go Ahead, Eat that Cake


Wonderfully Made, or How I Learned about Sex


A Successful Marriage is Built on a Freshly Made Bed A Grandma story!


Oops, I pooped my pants


It's been a ding-a-ling day


More, more, more than words


The hotel -- aka: I love kids, just not yours.

The case of the missing teeth - a Grandma story revisited

Me as a child: I was a big, fat liar

j

Yet another dang moment #reverb10

December 29 Defining moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.(Prompt by @KFitzmaurice)

Son of a motherless goat.  Have we not done this about 30 times this month?

Moments.  Moments.  MOMENTS.

I get it.  I am supposed to appreciate the moments.  For the love of all that is chocolate, I GET IT.

Sigh, sorry.  I'm having a moment.

Here are some moments of the year.
My moment of terror.
My moments of love.
My party moment.
My moment of appreciation.
My moment of being okay.

See?  Five moments I already talked about.  I'm done.  No more moments.  Next time I want EVENTS!

Dem tings, dem tings on de pillow #reverb10

December 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Prompt by @samdavidson)

I have all sorts of things I need to get rid of in the coming year.  From material goods to negative influences to hard feelings, there is a milieu of random things I could toss from my life and be a better person.  Will I? Well, that will be interesting to see.  I may not make all 11 things, but we'll give it a shot.

1. Checking Facebook before going to bed.
   

   I have a slight problem where I take my crackberry with me to bed so I have both the phone and my alarm close to me.  Instead of going to sleep, I often do a last minute scan of my FB peeps.  Instead of reading or doing a crossword like I used to, I am now scrolling through pages of statuses that could definitely wait til morning.  I may have to put my phone in the bathroom and turn the alarm up.

2. Keeping "stuff".
   

   I have more "stuff" than I know what to do with.  The Guy is horrified by the sheer amount of things I brought into this house.  Things I have put into their places and never looked at them again.  Drawers of clothes I have never opened again.  Boxes of crafts I have never done anything with.  It is my goal to get rid of something every month to cut down on the clutter.

3. Being disorganized.
   

   I am only productive when I have a list going.  I need everything written down in front of me or nothing gets done.  Nothing exists unless it is written in front of my face.  I need to get rid of my laziness and start making lists and getting it done!

4. Watching TV out of boredom.
   

   There are days where I do nothing but watch bad TV.  I may not be watching Dr. Phil or Donahue but I watch mindless drivel instead of doing things.  I want to read more and go outside and finish my lists!  No more 5 hour marathons of The First 48 just because I'm lazy!

5. Being lazy.  (There was a pattern here, so I thought I should address it.)
   

   I would like to stop being lazy.  To not do things because I don't feel like it.  To avoid things because I don't want to deal.  I will get up and be active!!

6. Five to ten more pounds
   

   I'm still doing okay with the weight loss thing.  I'm stabling out now in my steady decline of weight despite eating garbage and I realize that now I'm going to have to work harder to lose anything.  But, my goal (and not my Wii Fit's goal for me -- like I'm ever going to be the same weight I was in high school!) is to be a little closer to my ideal weight and get a bit more tone to my body.  I will go back to the Wii and get back into taking care of my body again.

7. Unrealistic expectations
   

   Of people, things and experiences.  Instead, I will be realistic and acknowledge life is not always as I think it should be -- and sometimes that isn't a bad thing.

I can't list 11 things.  I am sure there are more things I should ditch, but it's hard to think of all at once.  If I did manage to get rid of these things, I am sure my life will be more productive, more active, and more calm.

But, I always seem to do my best work amid chaos.


Side note: If anyone who is not related to me can tell me where the obscure quote is from without cheating, I will give you eternal internet high fives.

Things I suck at about being a woman: A list

I cannot:

1. Put on eyeshadow without looking like I've been punched in the eye. 
2. Walk in heels without falling down
3. Leave the 90s style behind me.  20 years ago and it still influences me.  If I let it.
4. Pin my bangs back.  You know when women haven't showered, so they pin their bangs out of the way and it looks so cute?  Yeah, I can't do that.
5. Shave on a regular basis. 
6. Wear lipstick without it gathering in the corners of my mouth and looking crusty. 
7. Eat without making a mess.
8. Look good all the time, even when I'm sick.
9. Remember not to pull wedgies in public.
10. Make the bed every day.
    

February blues list of things done and not done

In January, I made a list and at the end of the month, I explained how I did with that list.  I decided to do a recap of February and see how things went.

• I did organize my sewing room and I love it.  I've sewed one full knitting bag, cut out patterns to two others, and have spent numerous hours holed away in there and ignoring my husband.  I have not had a dedicated sewing room for years I am I nearly giddy with the joy of it.
• I learned to knit and made a dog sweater.  Sure, it was a bit presumptuous for a first solo project, but I am really thrilled I did it.  Of course, I made it too small for Monty (although I did take pictures of him in it.  Hilarious!) and now it will be sent to his sister Vicki who lives with my grandma.  I have started a second one which will be proper sized and I hope there are many less mistakes in it.
• I emptied 3 more boxes from the basement.  In March, I would like to finish emptying them all and go through the bin of "craft" things I have accumulated over the years.  Any one want some fake holly sprigs?
• I sucked at the Wii.  I was away for over a week in Victoria and then was away for union work.  Then I just didn't feel like it and then I started working.  Boo.  Back to the grind.  Later.  We'll be away for a week in March, so it might be lonely for a bit longer.

January non-resolution recap

Sometime in the early part of this month, I made a list.  I promptly forgot all about it.  So, to recap and remind, here it is below with what I did and didn't and sort of did do.

• To finish my thank you cards by the end of the second week of January and mail them. DONE! JAN 10
• To empty and sort the junk drawers  NOT DONE.  Oops.  On to next month.
• To go through my closet and pare down the amount of clothes I have in there. DONE! JAN 22
• To go through a couple of the boxes now littering the basement. Pare down, delegate, toss, etc.  SORT OF DONE.  I got rid of three more boxes and will clean out a few more when Lyn comes to visit.
• Organize my sewing area and set up my sewing machine. SORT OF DONE.  I have organized the room better, started planning where things will go, but still no table set up.  I keep forgetting to get it from the church.
• To eat more responsibly this includes: SORT OF DONE, BUT NOT REALLY  This I have not done so well with.  I have brought more lunches to work (Yay me!) but the Tim's and take out is still my weakness.  
• One take out or restaurant meal a week
• One Timmy's tea a week (one cream and sugar)  
• Limited pop intake
• Bring lunches to work
• Small amounts of snack or dessert -- not nothing, but just a little of some things
• Walk the dog more often or for longer at one time  NOT DONE.  It's been -30 and/or blizzarding steadily for the last few weeks.  When the weather was good, we went.  Not good, not going.
• Work out on the Wii and the elliptical every week (at least 3 times in total) SORT OF DONE I still haven't tried the elliptical, but the Wii has been fun.  I've worked out on it at least three times a week (even going five one week!) and will keep at it.  I haven't lost any weight, but I'm feeling better and hoping that counts.

So, for February, I plan to keep hacking away at this list.  I would like to lose one inch of my waist (so far, I've lost it but it's under my belly) and to try not to overdo it when I go out to see Kyfor a week.

Resolutions no more! Part 1: January

With January jumping down our throats and demanding we come deal with the future, most people have come to the annual conclusion that they kind of suck and should do something about that.  I too have gone through the disparaging moments during and after Christmas where I stood with a cookie in each hand, my gut hanging over my belt, and thought "Hmm. I should do something."  Well, that something was eat another cookie.

But now, I have firmly grabbed my butt with both hands and admitted I have a problem.  My problem is making New Years Resolutions and then failing by February (if I last that long) where I then say to hell with it, throw my hands in the air and grab onto the nearest cookie for dear life.

No more, my friends.  No more.  No more two months of success for 10 months of dismal failure and guilt.

This year, I am making myself do a monthly to-do list.  An evaluation of sorts.  Of things I would like to do, when I would like to achieve them, and what I will get when I'm done.  Now, you can call them resolutions, but they aren't so grandiose or of such broad-spectrum.  They are small, attainable, livable things.  I got the idea from here but they still call these things resolutions.  I call them... well, I don't know.  A list of sorts.  I would love to print them all out and keep them somewhere.  Maybe in my sewing room!

So, that is my plan.  Here is my list for January.  Some of the things may spill into February, but that is okay.

• To finish my thank you cards by the end of the second week of January and mail them.  DONE! JAN 10
• To empty and sort the junk drawers (the kitchen, the wine cabinet, the spare room x4) (I have a lot of junk... don't tell The Guy.)
• To go through my closet and pare down the amount of clothes I have in there.  (My reward for this one is to purchase "key" pieces to replace them!)
• To go through a couple of the boxes now littering the basement.  Pare down, delegate, toss, etc.
• Organize my sewing area and set up my sewing machine.  (Reward? TO SEW SOMETHING!!!)
• To eat more responsibly this includes:
• One take out or restaurant meal a week
• One Timmy's tea a week (one cream and sugar)
• Limited pop intake
• Bring lunches to work
• Small amounts of snack or dessert -- not nothing, but just a little of some things
• Walk the dog more often or for longer at one time
• Work out on the Wii and the elliptical every week (at least 3 times in total)

There it is.  My plan.  I always like having a plan.  It makes me feel better.  Like I will actually get things done.  Like I can get things done!

This is a write up for Write of Passage -- The Resolution

Third rate romance

The first section is here. The second section here. And here is the third and final chapter.

Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self-Control

Faithfulness
I love definitions. They are so nice and succinct and tell you exactly what they mean. How helpful. In the case of faithfulness, the online dictionary calls it being "true to one's word, promises, vows, etc", "steady in allegiance or affection", and "reliable, trusted, or believed."

Faithfulness is a pretty intense word. It is full of requirements and expectations. It makes you stand up for what you believe in, who you say you are, and how you behave. Talk about pressure! People all over the place say they are "faithful". Sure, they don't sleep around on their partners, but that isn't all that is being asked here.

Being true to one's word is a big thing. I always want to be true to my word. I always intend on doing what I say, but the truth is, I don't always. Sometimes I forget. I mean to do it, I plan to do it, and then... I don't. For the most part, I try my darnedest to do what I should -- to be the person who can be relied on. It's important to me.

Where I fall down the most is in the "steady allegiance" section. If I love you, I love you fiercely. Until you piss me off. Annoy me and I'm less fond of you. Until I love you again. But during that time I'm annoyed? You're dead to me. What can I say? I'm a mess of contradictions.

I would say in terms of faithfulness, I am a 7.5 or an 8. Of course, I really like me, so I'm trying to be easy here.

Gentleness
Ha!! Defined as "not severe, rough or violent; moderate" I have got to say I am not much for the gentle. I have about as much tact and grace as a fart in a prayer closet. My expression of affection is a shot to the arm or a well orchestrated head lock. Now, I have moments of gentleness -- with little kids, puppies, old people (although I secretly think they are creepy and smell weird), crying people, etc. But as a whole? I think this is a low point. Like a 5 out of 10. And that's if I've decided to be nice that day.

Self-Control
I should not have saved these for last. However, I guess it's good to remind people (and myself) that I am not, in fact, perfect. Actually, I am a lot of not perfect wrapped in really cute shoes. Here are the times I do not show self-control: money, food, shopping, obsessions, cleanliness, tact, thoughts that should be quiet, exercise... oh, the list I could write.

Self-control isn't fun. I am bad at it. And, if there are two things I don't like it's things that aren't fun and things that I'm bad at. Also, things that are hard. Me and self-control? We don't see eye to eye. I am down in the 5 point area for this one too.

Sometimes I have self-control. Like when I want to say mean things, I can for the most part keep it to myself. Or, at the very least, say it to someone else and not the person it's meant for. That has to count for something right?

How do you rate?

I hate it when I come up with draft titles so I will know what is going on in the post and then I save the post in drafts so I can come back to it later and then when I do come back to it the title is ever so pathetically lame that not even I can enjoy it. That is what happened here. Also, I realized the first sentence was going to be a really long run-on, so I ran with it. You're welcome.

So, the point of that rambling is: I am aware the title of this post is lame. Also, tough beans. If I had to look at it, so do you. I'm not changing it now.

I had all intentions of this being thought provoking and insightful, but my title ruined it all. Crap. Now onto our regularly scheduled post.

In reading material for the pre-marriage classes The Guy and I are taking, I was reading about the qualities a person should strive for in themselves. The Fruits of the Spirit is what they are called among the church-going crowd, but the qualities are pretty basic, so everyone can appreciate them. They are:

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self-Control

Being a good girl and listening to my parents (tee hee) I, many years ago, memorized the verse these come from. I can quote them, but I never took the time to study each one and see how they applied to me or if I possessed them on any level at all. So, in front of God and country, I'm going to do so now. Don't worry, I won't do all at once. This is a three part mini series.

Love
Love can be defined as a profound and deep admiration and concern for the well-being of another person. That is a smooshing of all the definitions I found. It works for me. On a scale of 1 - 10, (1 being I love nothing and no one, 10 being I love everything and everyone without question) I would say I'm an 8. I love easily and deeply. I have great affection for people and animals -- weird people, displaced people, under dogs, etc. I love and accept love. Maybe I find it harder to accept love at times, but I still love. All in all, I'm okay with this one.

Joy
Joy is defined as delight, happiness, or satisfaction. I like definitions. It makes things tidy and we're all on the same page then. Joy is a tougher one for me. On the whole, I'm a fairly happy person, however, I have a sarcastic edge and an occasional negative look on some things. I would say I score a 7 on joy. Sometimes I'm an 8, sometimes I'm a 6, so I'm going to go for the medium number. I want to be a positive person and find joy in everyday things. I am working towards that.

Peace
Inner peace is what I think of on this one. Let's look it up. Oh, I like this one. Definition.com call peace the "freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession." I say "HA!" Not that I am doubting the definition. I mean, hence the name of the site, right? But in my life -- my mind -- peace is... noticeably absent. Even when I am calm, look calm, seem calm, I am decidedly not so calm. I think a 5.5 is my rating on this one. I am working towards peace. I am meditating on a semi-kind of-regular basis. I am praying more often. I am doing relaxing things to open my mind and let some of that tension out. However, rather than the opening being akin to a window, my opening is more similar to a balloon. I am slowly letting the mouth of the balloon open just enough to let the littlest squeak of air out into the world. Peace is not my strong point.

(to be continued)

Having the grace to be thankful

I have decided to embark on two adventures this month. Actually three, but one isn't a blogging adventure.

The first adventure is to do NaBloPoMo for December. I enjoyed my month of enforced promptness and, like any good member of my family, flourished under a daily deadline and the pressure to succeed. So, I am doing it again - this time with a topic: "thanks". Now, I haven't decided if I will say thanks to people or be thankful for things, but I figure the multi-faceted definition of the word will give me leeway.

The second adventure is to join Schmutzie in her search to find grace, thanks, positivity, and joy in the little things in life. I am taking on the 365 Days of Grace where I will list 5 things I am thankful for or find joy in every day (or thereabouts). This one will likely be the more difficult of the two challenges as I can always find something to blather about each day, but rarely take the time to look at the little things that make life enjoyable. I think this will be an important task as I am coming upon the 5th deathiversary of my mother and it may prove to be a daunting one. But I forge ahead with the plan to be Pollyanna for at least 5 minutes of every day. Without the blonde hair or British accent though.



Wish me luck!

Stuff and things

Since I faked out Ky yesterday by posting my daily post one second after midnight, I guess it's only fair to go back to regularly scheduled posting. I had a good day yesterday without any bloguilt though, so I totally think it's worth it.

Today, is my day to start posting again. I thought I would make you a list. People love lists. Seriously. It was in the news.

Things I love:

• Vicki sleeping at the head of the bed on my pillow
• Vicki talking in her sleep
• Dogs twitching while they sleep
• Reading long after I am supposed to be in bed
• Lounging and reading
• Take out
• When other people pay for take out
• Organizing
• Antagonizing
• Animorphisizing
• Words that go together
• Alliteration (sadly, I have no examples at this time)
• Sleeping until noon when I went to bed at 10pm.

Things I hate:

• Dogs whining
• When Madison throws the ball behind something and then whines until I will get up and get the damn ball or choke her
• That it works every time
• Dishes
• House mess
• The gym
• Going to the gym just out of guilt because the log in machine will tell me I haven't been there in a long time and I just cannot take the peer pressure. From an inanimate machine
• Being broke
• Working in order to not be broke

And that is my post today. I hope you enjoyed it. Now I am off to run errands and then go to the gym because I haven't been there in a week. And I am starting to get fat. But that could be due to the fact I've eaten about 2 gallons of cream cheese in the last month. But that's just a guess.

*I'm participating in NaBloPoMo. Tough nooggies for you. You have to read it.

Non-political

I don't like to talk politics. There are three main reasons for that.

1. It makes me mad.
2. I am right and you're an idiot.*

The third reason is just as important as the first two. It is this:

3. Canadian politicians are dull.

We have an election coming up in 4 days or so. Oh, you didn't know? Yeah, we Canadians don't like to push our politics on countries who don't give a furry rat's behind. We have three main parties - Right, middle right and left right. Or, as we call them. Conservative, Liberal and NDP. They are the same parties really with differing amounts of evil mixed in for flavour. All like to cut programs, fiddle with taxes, and make their friends rich. It's a good life, really.

The problem is our choices for leaders. We have the dude with the righteous hair (and self-righteous attitude), the dude with the 70s porn 'stache but no real charisma, and the dude with no personality whose wife should actually be the leader of the party. She's the one with the brains.

It's a tough choice if you're heading to the voter's box thingy. Which simpering fool should we choose? I am lucky. My whole federal voting life, I have lived in a riding where there is only one real choice - the nicest, kindest, most sincere man in all of government. And I vote for him every time. I would vote for good ol' Mr. Ralph even if he ran a scary Socialist/Communist Party looking to make us all into sharing hippies.

Who am I kidding? I would especially vote for him then.

*Not, you necessarily. Unless of course you are a right wing, fat cat type who puts economy above humanity. Then, I mean you.

A list

Things I should do today

• dishes (I have no bowls left and no spoons. Can you tell I only eat cereal?)
• mow back lawn
• deal with 4 foot weeds in back lawn
• play with dogs
• tidy kitchen
• go to gym
• laundry

Things I am doing today

• reading emails
• checking blogs
• playing solitaire
• eating cereal out of an old bowl with a serving spoon
• hiding in the dark
• contemplating a nap
• avoiding work