Third rate romance

The first section is here. The second section here. And here is the third and final chapter.

Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self-Control

Faithfulness
I love definitions. They are so nice and succinct and tell you exactly what they mean. How helpful. In the case of faithfulness, the online dictionary calls it being "true to one's word, promises, vows, etc", "steady in allegiance or affection", and "reliable, trusted, or believed."

Faithfulness is a pretty intense word. It is full of requirements and expectations. It makes you stand up for what you believe in, who you say you are, and how you behave. Talk about pressure! People all over the place say they are "faithful". Sure, they don't sleep around on their partners, but that isn't all that is being asked here.

Being true to one's word is a big thing. I always want to be true to my word. I always intend on doing what I say, but the truth is, I don't always. Sometimes I forget. I mean to do it, I plan to do it, and then... I don't. For the most part, I try my darnedest to do what I should -- to be the person who can be relied on. It's important to me.

Where I fall down the most is in the "steady allegiance" section. If I love you, I love you fiercely. Until you piss me off. Annoy me and I'm less fond of you. Until I love you again. But during that time I'm annoyed? You're dead to me. What can I say? I'm a mess of contradictions.

I would say in terms of faithfulness, I am a 7.5 or an 8. Of course, I really like me, so I'm trying to be easy here.

Gentleness
Ha!! Defined as "not severe, rough or violent; moderate" I have got to say I am not much for the gentle. I have about as much tact and grace as a fart in a prayer closet. My expression of affection is a shot to the arm or a well orchestrated head lock. Now, I have moments of gentleness -- with little kids, puppies, old people (although I secretly think they are creepy and smell weird), crying people, etc. But as a whole? I think this is a low point. Like a 5 out of 10. And that's if I've decided to be nice that day.

Self-Control
I should not have saved these for last. However, I guess it's good to remind people (and myself) that I am not, in fact, perfect. Actually, I am a lot of not perfect wrapped in really cute shoes. Here are the times I do not show self-control: money, food, shopping, obsessions, cleanliness, tact, thoughts that should be quiet, exercise... oh, the list I could write.

Self-control isn't fun. I am bad at it. And, if there are two things I don't like it's things that aren't fun and things that I'm bad at. Also, things that are hard. Me and self-control? We don't see eye to eye. I am down in the 5 point area for this one too.

Sometimes I have self-control. Like when I want to say mean things, I can for the most part keep it to myself. Or, at the very least, say it to someone else and not the person it's meant for. That has to count for something right?