Tale of the BRAND NEW CAR!

Not that you would remember, but 4 years ago I got a new car.  I spent months researching, agonizing, creating spreadsheets (yes, spreadsheets) and test driving.  I had a plan and I executed it.  Bought the cutest little car you ever did see and she served me well.

Almost.  The problem with the car was that I had only just met The Guy when she was bought.  Me being a regular height for a human had little problems fitting into my car comfortably.  He being of irregular (and mostly giant) height for a human was a little crunched.  Four years later, he has sworn he won't travel long distances in my car ever again.

I don't know, he looks awful cute with his knees up under his nose while his head is sideways against the roof.

That came out more inappropriate than I intended.

Anywho.  My little car was coming due to being traded in.  Her lease is up in August, so we started talking about cars.  The Guy's dad had gotten a good deal on his in the spring, so we thought we would go to the same dealer in August.

Didn't stop us from looking around though.  We narrowed it down to a few different vehicles -- all tall ones that The Guy would be able to drive, but also wouldn't suck up the gas.  Or kill the environment, but that was a secondary thought.

On a coinciding day off (it's like a blue moon, but rarer) The Guy and I decided to go out to the dealer and do some looking around.  We drove a couple of vehicles and I saw one I really liked.  I thought that we would come back in August.

It didn't turn out that way.  We talked the with dealer and there was a good deal on a slightly used (3000 km) Jeep Pioneer Patriot (Oops!).  It was exactly the car we were looking at.  Exactly the price.  And! Exactly the colour.

Cherry Cherry!

They offered to take my car from me and offered a good price.  We decided to think about it and asked when they would want to know by.  How about tomorrow?!?!

No pressure.

On the ride home, we decided that, if we could get the financing in place, we would do it.  We made the call and started the process.  My stomach was in knots.  I was so anxious I could throw up.  I don't make big decisions like this!  (Oh, who am I kidding?) The next day, I went to work while The Guy did all the leg work.  He would bring me the new truck at work!  Then I got the call: we had the money, but the truck wasn't ready.

I was heartbroken.  And then, I was suspicious.

I mean, it was the day before April Fool's Day.  And I always fall for April Fool's Day jokes.

I was sitting at work yesterday when my boss walked in and told me I should go outside.  I was expecting my co-worker to jump out of no where and douse me with water or something along those lines.  I tentatively  peeked my head out the door.

Where I saw my BRAND NEW CAR!!!!!!!!!!

I might have jumped up and down, squealed like a 5 yr old girl, and skipped to where The Guy was standing.

I might have.  But that would have been embarrassing and immature.

Cherry in my garage where she lives now.

I stared at her out the window the rest of the day until I could drive her home.  I might have kissed her goodnight too.

As promised: a give away!

There is nothing I love more than shelving.  Don't even get me started on bathroom shelving.  I heart shelves.  I have a dream of pretty floating bathroom shelves with rolled towels and subtle knick knacks making my bathroom look regal.

In reality, the towels are flung over the shower curtain and the McLeans is left open on the counter because that's as far as I got during my bathroom interlude.

Now, I'm much cleaner now that I live with The Guy, but still I dream about bathroom shelves with rolled towels that make me think I'm in a spa.

So, why am I telling you this?  Right, the give away!

The good people at CSN Stores have offered one of my faithful peoples a gift certificate for me to auction off.  Actually, I'm supposed to give it away.  Though, an auction would be fun.  I would even take wildlife as a currency.

I digress.  The CSN Store has lots of awesome household things including bathroom shelves, rolled towels, AND knick knacks.  You don't have to choose those though.

Anywho, a $35 is available to someone who will be randomly selected from the comment section of this post.  I will use a random selector thingy (or, ask my coworker to pick a number) and then I will mail out your certificate!

Get commenting!  Added: Date closes on Dec 5th at 11:59 my time.

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For those lurker people who don't or don't know how to comment, here's the low down: Click on "buggering crap monkies say what?" at the bottom of this post.  Once on the comment page, click the menu box.  It will open up and give you options.  You can choose to just use your name, or you can choose Anonymous and put your name in the comments.  Good luck!

More conversations with Grandma

My Grandma has never been a spender. She has money squirreled away "in case I die" but really never cared much about it, nor is she particularly financially aware. She's just... cheap. No, that's not right. But, she was raised in the 30s and even after more than 70 years of actual non-poverty she is still not convinced that she isn't one step from eating onion sandwiches for survival. It made the following exchange even more amusing.

me: Hi Grandma. What are you doing?
Grandma: Counting all my money.

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Grandma: I've already arranged my burial. I'm meeting with the undertaker this week.
me: Are you planning to die right away?
Grandma: No, not really. But I don't want you to have to worry about it when I'm gone.

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Grandma: I've paid for my funeral already. And the money is gaining interest, so I might get a refund.

Only my Grandma could get a refund for dying.

Sold, finally.

As of 6:30pm, my house was finally sold. I didn't want to post about it until the conditions were removed, because -- in my mind -- if I write about anything before it's final, it will likely not happen. However, it is done, I have a "sold" sign (or I will later today) and now it is on to the next thing.

Someone asked if I was thrilled. Well, less thrilled and more utterly exhausted. I'm so relieved this is over. I may never move again because I have to tell you, selling houses sucks. Buying them I like. This is never want to experience again. Now I know why there are so many abandoned homesteads across our province. People couldn't bear the thought of putting their house on the market.

That's my take on it, anyway.

The new owners take possession on June 30th. The Guy and I get possession of our house on July 15th. With some fancy maneuvering, we are figuring out where everything (including our persons) will be. Now for the packing.

Laundry basket case

Today, Tuesday this October 7, the year of our Lord 2008, my washing machine Lulu has given up her fight with failing motor.

She was 4 years old, worked hard all her life, and was overloaded more times than one can count. Carried on before her is the old car Stinky, and the dishwasher Carlton. She leaves behind a matching dryer Buster who will be lonely for his companion, the fridge with no name but lots of smell (he takes up most of my basement but is never used), the upstairs fridge who secretly thinks he's better than everyone else (but whose freezer door held together by tape), and the freezer.

There has been a service called for Tuesday, but it is likely to be short and lead directly to the internment of her body to the local dump. In lieu of flowers, please send donations to Bronwyn for the purpose of replacing Lulu as soon as possible.

Simple plans

If I were a lady of leisure and had unlimited money, this is what I would do.*

I would build a house and decorate it. And then, I would enjoy every bit of it. I would never clean it myself, but I would have a staff to clean and care for it and someone to cook for me. I have the whole house planned out in my mind.

It would be an open layout bungalow.** It would have many bedrooms so I could have my whole family stay with me to visit. The kitchen would be very big and have an island where I could roll cookie dough on it without running into anything. There would be a huge fridge that would fit everything I need in it and never run out of space for salad dressings or jams.

My dream though is about the bathroom. A huge corner tub that requires steps up to it. I want the walls around the tub to be glass that you can't see through. I want to be able to soak in silence and happiness with water that actually is deep enough to sit in and stays warm for more than 15 mins at a time. I want there to be plants in there, but again, I don't want to care for them.***

I need a big yard for the dogs and I to hang out in. Something with shade in one area and sun in another and a pool for the pups.

I'm a very simple girl and I have simple needs. I just want a huge house, a full staff and no responsibilities.


*I would try not to make the begining of my post sound like a poem, but that may be beyond my ability.
**Why a bungalow? Because my mother was in a wheelchair and now I will never take the chance that I will not be able to get around in my own house.
***Ky can do that when she visits.

Wanted: Sugar Daddy

I have been watching bad Scottish family dramas about a laird and his family. The lady of the house is a quaint woman who spends her day painting, lounging, dawdling, wandering and fiddling. After watching her for some time, I realized I have found my calling. I need to be a lady of leisure.

I have all the qualifications. I like to sit. I like to paint. I like to draw. I like to cross stitch (in fact I'm working on a new pattern now which will likely keep me busy until my mid-forties) and I could learn to knit or crochet if I worked at it. I like to sleep in and lay around and I love to nap. But, most of all, I like especially to do nothing.

It's highly unfair that I should have to work knowing that my life is best suited to having my every whim catered to and being waited on hand and foot.

Here we go again

I said it before. I was getting a handle on my finances. I changed houses, reorganized debt, changed the way I was doing things, didn't rely on my renters for money. I was doing well.

"Was" is the operative word.

Like everything in my life, I dove into my finances with determination. I budgeted and planned and wrote things down. And then... I moved, I got sick, I got busy (mind out of the gutter!), I got distracted. I got... out of control. Again.

And now I am here. Weeks before Christmas retructuring things again. Realizing I can't save as much as I hoped. That I have to start changing things again. That I'm a shopaholic of the worst sense. That I don't make $85,000 a year.

Or even half that.

And I'm going to get yelled at. I'm aware of that. But Janice had an idea and I may have to integrate it into my budgeting plan. Before I make any purchase (maybe over $30) I have to get it okayed by Ky. She's the cheapest person I know. Next to Grandma.

Money matters

I am starting over this next month. My mortgage will be changed to reflect my new loan amount and I will start being able to actually make it through to the end of the month without overusing my credit card, borrowing (or stealing) from my sisters and collecting change from the floor of my car to buy Tim's. I have decided that I must take control of my finances.

Why, yes, I have said this before.

This time I mean it. I'm a grown up for crying in the sink! I should be able to handle a budget and a plan and money without spending it all on bubble gum. Right? Right? Uh huh. That's what I thought. I was hoping I would someday find a man who would take charge of all this crap and just give me an allowance*, but since that is not going to happen, I should likely figure it out on my own.

A few years ago I bought a book to help me. I think it's packed somewhere. I never did open it. I have started numerous computer programs to help me keep track of what I spend. It's a lot of work and usually lasts about two days. Who am I kidding? Try two hours.

But I found a website. For the financially challenged. The Working Woman's Guide Financial Security. So I'm going to try and follow the suggestions and get my proverbial shit together. Sometime before I die.

*Yes, I am aware this is horrendously sexist and not at all feministic. I'm all for women ruling the world and doing everything we want to do without being limited by gender roles. However, like mowing the lawn and handling maintenance on my car, I don't want to. I am perfectly willing to give this away to someone. Anyone. Want to handle my finances? Please?