Women and the importance of friendships

I've always had only a few good friends.  I have a tendency to be the kind of person who does not make friends easily.  In my youth, I was irritating and had little social skills.  In my teens, I was depressed, covered in acne, and violently shy.  In my early 20s, I was uncomfortable in my own skin and only spoke to people I knew.

I always had a safe net of friends (actually: sisters and cousins and kids of my parents' friends) so I didn't need to make friends.  However, most of my friends who were not my sisters or cousins lived in other provinces.  Then my cousins moved away.  Then my sisters moved away.

And then there was one.

I had The Guy and I had Monty, but felt lacking in the female friendship department.

It was then I realized: women need their friends and friendships are hard work.

Have I mentioned I hate hard work?

However, more and more, I've needed the female element.  I need the things that only female friends can provide.  There is a level of camaraderie, companionship, and communication that can only be understood by another female.

Don't get me wrong.  I love The Guy.  We can sit and talk for hours about anything.  Hopes, dreams, futures, disappointments, achievements, etc.  He's my best friend.  And yet... there are times when I need to discuss things with someone who is not him.  And that is where girl friends come into play.

I have a firm belief that a woman needs someone who fulfills one of each of the following: a professional mentor, a maternal friend, a spiritual guide, a spiritual equal, a person to be foolish with, a person to discuss relationships with (e.g. sex!!!), a person who pushes you to be more than you thought you could be, someone to be quiet with, and someone who knows everything about you.  These can be filled by one person or many.  It's just important that we have them.

Sometimes friends come and go in our lives as we change and grow.  Some pick up where they left off -- whether it be days or weeks or years.  I've realized I need to work harder to create, cultivate, and cherish my female friends.

Thank you for being a friend #reverb10

December 16 Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Prompt by @curiousmartha)

I don't have a lot of friends that I spend time with.  Most of my friends are out of province, out of town, out of country.  My closest friends have been my siblings and they too are scattered all over the place.  But what I learned this year was that there are some friends, no matter how far apart or how long between visits, that are your friends forever.

Gallery showing

The couple who are doing the photos for The Guy's and my wedding are being featured at a local coffee shop this month. It's pretty exciting, so I am encouraging all local friends to head there and check them out. Not only will you see some great work, but you will be insanely jealous about the professionals who are shooting my our most special day.

Here is the write up on them:

Free Lense PhotoGraphic is holding a new photo exhibit called 'Glimpses of the World'

During a 14 month journey through 17 countries across Europe, India, Polynesia and the Far East
Svetlana and Alf saw and photographed the uniqueness of places, people, architecture and nature
that are a must to see.

This exhibit displays the grandeur of Rome to the peaceful tranquility of the backwaters of southern India.

Atlantis Coffee Victoria Ave. and Hamilton St. are host to this exhibit, so why not come and enjoy your favourite tea or coffee and feast your eyes on images that will inspire you to go out and see your own 'Glimpses of the World'.

Here, have some. No, I insist.

My friend and his little guy are crashing at my house for the weekend. Little Guy is at a stage where everything is exciting. Even learning to share. Heck, especially learning to share. He is pretty sure he wants to share, but as soon as he does, you can tell he's rethinking it.

Tonight, he shared half his bowl of cheese puffs with the dogs. As soon as he would give them one, he would snatch his hand back and glare at them. Finally he told his Dad he was done sharing with puppies. He moved on to me.

As we sat watching a movie, he would -- one by one -- bring me crackers. I am sure I got 15 crackers at least before he ran out. It went just like this for the better part of half an hour.

Little Guy: Fow you.
Me: Thank you so much. Mmmm. Tasty.
Little Guy: Dad, I shawd.
His dad: Yes, I see that. Good for you.
Little Guy: Here. Fow you.
Me: For me? Thank you.

and so on.

At one point, a dog snatched one of his sharing crackers out of his hands before he could give it to me. The look of indignation on his face was pretty priceless.

The whole thing was pretty darn cute, but I have to admit, I was glad when he ran out of crackers.

Weekend visitor

I've had a friend coming into the city every few weeks to see his son. I have a spare room, so I figured he might as well bring his son here than hang out at a hotel.

The little guy started out totally freaked out by the new place and the loudness of the dogs. Once, he warmed up though, he fell in love. Puppies to cuddle and give kisses, to chase and make bark.

They loved him too. Madison especially loved him. Her only previous introduction to little boys was the time my godson chased her around the back yard with a hammer, so I wasn't expecting much. But she put her paws up on his shoulders and licked his face until he yelled "Yucky!"

He's sweet and cute, like most 2 year old kids. Hyper and happy, pouty and miserable. He's a doll. The other night, I handed him my camera and let him go wild. I had room for 10 shots so I knew he couldn't do much damage. Now I have 9 shots of fuzzy things I should recognize, and one picture of him.

I love kids. Other people's kids alternate between making me want a million of them right away and making me want none of them. Ever.

I am participating in NaBloPoMo for November. Why? To entertain you. This is all for you. You're welcome.

Lunch date

A few weeks ago, I had a moment of bravery. I emailed Schmutzie and invited her out for lunch. At the time, I was thinking "Hey, I'm home a lot and she's home right now, so we should hang out." Once I sent the email I panicked.

I don't know her apart from she is the wife of a guy who used to be the boss of my sister. Lyn. Oh, that and I read her blog every day. I thought she would think I was creepy and weird for asking her to lunch and then I worried she would think "How dare this person assume I would want to spend time with the likes of her?" in a very snooty British accent. But, to my surprise and great relief, she said she would.

Not unlike the last meeting of a perfect stranger, I started getting nervous about our lunch three days prior. I worried I would get the wrong date, miss meeting her and have her say mean things about me behind my back to thousands of people who read her words. Then, I worried I would show up and SHE wouldn't be there after deeming me unworthy.

The day came (that being today) and I woke up late, didn't shower, and ran out of the house. I made it to the meeting place with a few minutes to spare and realized I looked like a homeless person standing on a street corner. I tried not to look too suspicious as I leaned against the wall of a restaurant and scanned passersby for a semblance of recognition. I was hoping no one would try and give me spare change or proposition me.

Finally I spotted Schmutzie and grinned like an idiot when she waved from across the street. the rest of the lunch went quite well. I was pleased. We chatted like old friends sharing pet stories and blog tips and everything that came to mind. I was self-conscious though during our conversation. I wondered if she would notice the bags under my eyes threatening to take over my face and the ever present pimple between my eyes. However, she didn't look at my forehead too often and eventually I almost entirely relaxed.

I thought she had been cool and collected about the whole thing and I was quite impressed with the soft spoken, lovely woman I met. And then I read her post on the adventure and was, once again, pleased to know we have a lot in common.

Mawridge

This weekend a good friend got married to her high school sweetheart. The wedding was in the fast track town of Moosomin about 3 hours east of no where you want to go. A group of us climbed into my car and made the trip the morning of the wedding. I will tell you about the wedding first because the motel and the bar where we spent time between wedding and reception are posts of their own.

In a small town church, we all gathered (just on time) to wait for the procession. There were quite a few people there and everyone squeezed into the little chapel. Lyn was a bridesmaid and looked lovely. She was almost 3 feet taller than her partnered groomsman, but that is how most weddings go.


Lyn walked down the aisle with the cutest little flower girl known to man. The little girl made it to the front and spent the rest of the ceremony screaming at her cousin, the ring barer, for stepping on her colouring. At the reception, she was carried around in her father's arms with her crayon held gently up her nose.

The bride was glorious. She usually is a bundle of sweetness and light, but this day she radiated. Her hair was fantastic and she looked wonderful. Her groom was adorable and obviously had done his own hair. They looked happy and that is what it is all about.