Wardrobe Malfunction

When we were in the States in the spring, I splurged on two good dresses.  It wasn't my fault; The Guy had gone to Lowe's and left me alone at the Dressbarn.  I figured it was Buy One Get One, so it was irresponsible not to pick up at least two.

I settled on two dresses out of the five I tried on.  First: a cute, navy blue, cowgirl dress that would go great with a pair of boots I already owned.  Second: a black and white polka dotted dress that buttoned up the front and was very form fitted.

The cowgirl dress I've worn a couple of times.  It has an underskirt of crinoline and swishy top layers.  I had not, however, worn the polka dotted dress before.  I decided to save it for a special occasion because it was so pretty.

I wore it for the first time at the church camp retreat we go to every year.  It's a bit like a week long fashion show for the pious.  Since it was black and white polka dots, I bought a pair of red and white polka dot shoes to go with it.  I was going to be the cutest.

As I was tying up my shoes, The Guy stood behind me.  He laughed out loud and warned me not to bend over in church.  In fact, he suggested that -- if I dropped something -- I should just let it go.  Apparently, I had forgotten to check for butt coverage when bending down.  I figured I could handle it -- I didn't need to bend down that often anyway.

It wasn't until we got to church that I realized I was going to have all manners of trouble with this dress.  It was super cute, but only modest when I was standing up straight.  As soon as I sat down, the skirt opened up all the way to the button and exposed a great deal of upper thigh.  It was then that The Guy mentioned he could see straight down my top as it gaped.

I spent the rest of the service clutching at my chest and legs so as to not offend the sensibilities of any of the old ladies.  I may never be able to wear it to church again unless I make some minor adjustments.

The Guy has decided it is his new favourite dress for me.