When we were in the States in the spring, I splurged on two good dresses. It wasn't my fault; The Guy had gone to Lowe's and left me alone at the Dressbarn. I figured it was Buy One Get One, so it was irresponsible not to pick up at least two.
I settled on two dresses out of the five I tried on. First: a cute, navy blue, cowgirl dress that would go great with a pair of boots I already owned. Second: a black and white polka dotted dress that buttoned up the front and was very form fitted.
The cowgirl dress I've worn a couple of times. It has an underskirt of crinoline and swishy top layers. I had not, however, worn the polka dotted dress before. I decided to save it for a special occasion because it was so pretty.
I wore it for the first time at the church camp retreat we go to every year. It's a bit like a week long fashion show for the pious. Since it was black and white polka dots, I bought a pair of red and white polka dot shoes to go with it. I was going to be the cutest.
As I was tying up my shoes, The Guy stood behind me. He laughed out loud and warned me not to bend over in church. In fact, he suggested that -- if I dropped something -- I should just let it go. Apparently, I had forgotten to check for butt coverage when bending down. I figured I could handle it -- I didn't need to bend down that often anyway.
It wasn't until we got to church that I realized I was going to have all manners of trouble with this dress. It was super cute, but only modest when I was standing up straight. As soon as I sat down, the skirt opened up all the way to the button and exposed a great deal of upper thigh. It was then that The Guy mentioned he could see straight down my top as it gaped.
I spent the rest of the service clutching at my chest and legs so as to not offend the sensibilities of any of the old ladies. I may never be able to wear it to church again unless I make some minor adjustments.
The Guy has decided it is his new favourite dress for me.