Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Closet white trash

My front window faces West. I have no tree in the front yard to provide any shade at all, so all the sun for the entire day comes through the front window into my tiny, airconditionless, poorly ventilated house. I bought a really cute bamboo blind for the window and, after installing it, realized it was as useless as hanging up a piece of Kleenex.

Rather than taking it down and getting a new one, I found a table cloth in a similar colour and threw it up over the shade. It worked a little better, but wasn't the optimal solution. I threatened to put tinfoil up in the windows -- both to keep out the sun and to keep aliens from reading my thoughts -- but Ky said it was too low class. Even for us. I pouted, but agreed.

Suddenly, I had a thought. (It scared me and it kind of hurt.) I would take the emergency tin foil blanket and put it on the window. But, I didn't want to appear low class, so I decided to do something else. I laid the table cloth on the floor, spread the foil blanket over it and tacked it in place. Then, I hung it up over the shade so the foil was hidden entirely between the table cloth and the shade. Works like a charm and no one will think I live in a trailer park.

I mean, except for when I stand on the porch with a baby on one hip, a cigarette hanging from my mouth, curlers in my hair, and a beer in my hand, screaming at the top of my lungs.

9 comments:

  1. That's an excellent idea!

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  2. I LOVED your instructions! My blinds came with NO instructions and I had to figure it all out by myself. I know exactly which blinds you bought. Those toothpick ones that look so good.....and peeping toms adore them.

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  3. Brilliant! Why hasn't HGTV scooped you up for one of their many home design shows?

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  4. I have tinfoil on my office windows. We are going to order blinds. Bamboo. We may do that and also stick with the tinfoil if they are as bad as you say. Of course our west windows cannot be seen by anyone.

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  5. You know, that kind of thinly veiled jab at Jay and Laura is just uncalled for.

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  6. Kate: Thanks! I have good ideas sometimes. I didn't mention that I also have a dog blanket hanging on the front door to block out the sun - much less cool an idea.

    Dana: Well, I hope my instructions helped you. I would suggest calling someone to hang them and just start watching the movie first.

    Joe: You are always so supportive. I appreciate it. When I am a famous person on HGTV, I will mention you casually.

    Dad: If no one can see them, leave the foil on and put the bamboo up so YOU don't know how low class you are.

    Gwen: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is awesome. I am so borrowing their baby for Halloween so I can go as a trailer park mom.

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  7. Let me tell you something, honey, when you live in a country where people cannot afford fans, never mind AC, tin foil is not low class, it is affordable and practical.

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  8. Emergency tin foil blanket...you are TOTALLY my new hero.

    LOL

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Crap monkies say "what?"