Let it out: Part II

Part I here.


It is my mother's birthday. She would be turning 59 and we would be teasing her about her approaching doom of 60. She has been on my mind a lot in the last few days. And then I saw this question on the Kleenex website.

What would you say to your mom if she was here?

I would say "I miss you" and "I love you" first. I would tell her that I keep waiting for things to get easier. To miss her less and to stop feeling as though I am living in wait for her to come home. The longer it gets the more real it is that she isn't just on an extended vacation and I have to live the rest of my life without her.


I would thank her. For being my mother and teaching me the things I needed to know and for not letting me get away with the things she knew I shouldn't. For helping me become the woman I am today because for the most part I like that woman. For being my best friend and not one of those mothers who cause their kids to need extensive therapy. Well, maybe a little therapy. But not because she ever rejected me or hated me or criticized me. For that I am greatful. I am glad that somehow we avoided ever having a bad relationship. I never doubted she loved me. I am glad that our time together was full of laughter and shopping and gossiping and love even in our fighting.


I would tell her about my hopes and dreams and worries. I would tell her about work and the calls I can't seem to shake. I would tell her about my frustrations at people's ineptness. I would show her my house and tell her about my plans. I would tell her about The Guy and I would hope she would like him and would tell me what to do.


Mostly, I would ask her not to leave.