Sister Ky and I decided to try a writing exercise this afternoon. Since I was trying to avoid doing more housework (I did most of the dishes, cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed the living room and dusted, yay!) I was totally up for trying out the writing thing. So, we sat down with a notebook, a pen and a timer set for 10 minutes. We started the exercise with "I am looking at..." and went from there. Anytime we got stuck, we had to start with the sentence again. Here is what I wrote:
I am looking at the table in front of me with a Nora Robert's book, three remotes, a small gold scissors and my lap top. These are all the things I need to do absolutely nothing all day. They are, with the exception of the scissors, the reason I am entirely unproductive. Which is a sad commentary, not only on my own life, but society in general. I have TV, a trashy book with little intellectual worth and access to tons of crap around the world to distract me from what I could and should be doing.
I am looking at this living room, cluttered with things I love but never use. Cluttered with things I don't love, don't need and can't bare to part with. The piano in the corner, which I never play and is woefully out of tune. The stereo that has no - what are those called? The things music comes out of - SPEAKERS! They don't even work and since I have my lap top I never use it anymore unless I have cassettes to listen to and who ever does anymore? I have copious amounts of books and movies and things which are bogging down my life, but which I can't seem to get rid of as I am too bogged down. How typical. I would like to empty every drawer, every counter, every cupboard and throw out [things]. But, then, I would find myself filling with more other things I am convinced I need but know I will never [...] use.
When will this be over?
I am looking at my puppy resting on my leg and he's sweet but so needy. I am tired of the needy, but can't imagine life without him. Or the other two for that matter. The are all a part of me now and although I want to escape some days, they make me happy with their fuzziness and tongues and goopy eyes and poopy bums and smelly breath. I do love them although it would be easier if I didn't. I could be free.
I am looking at my sister as she writes her same thing and sighs heavily. Our relationship is so complicated but I guess that is just how some are meant to be. We have to have complications in order to grow personally. Despite the fact we don't want to and it annoys us.
I really need a shower.
I am looking at my cell phone wishing it would go off and announce the time for this to be over.