Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I hate old people, early risers and happy people

This weekend my grandma sent a package with Lyn and I for a friend of hers that lives in town. She had forgotten the package when she was in North Battleford, so since we were going anyways... The day before we left, Grandma called to remind us to come get it and then this lady called to remind us to go get it. You would think that without help, we would forget to relieve ourselves too.

We picked up the package (which I am assuming is full of heroine with the excitement it has generated) and brought it home. At 8:05 the next morning, this lady calls.
"Are you alseep?"
God, yes. What the hell is wrong with you?
"But it's after 8!"
Yes, however, I am not 80. I can't live on a glass of carrot juice and a 15 minute cat nap.
We made plans for me to drop it off at her house because there was no way I was letting her come over right then to get it. But, being me, I forgot to take it.

I worked last night. I finally drifted off to sleep a little after 6am. At 9:00am, this lady called again.
"You're asleep still? You're letting the day slip away."
I worked last night. I've slept 3 hours. Would you like me to end your life?
I put the package outside the door. I figured if she wanted to be like that, she could damn well get it herself.


  1. It's a wig. For a woman named Amelia. For her to wear to a wedding in mid-August.

    Why on earth was E harassing you so much to drop it off? Like, it's in your city already. It's going to get to the lady (who also lives in the city) before mid-August.

  2. Hah! It's funnier now that I know the story is about E. And that that package is a wig. Excellent.

  3. I am going to drop kick that woman until her face comes off. HOW DARE SHE!? She knows that you work shift work. For serious.


Crap monkies say "what?"