I was lamenting my woes to a friend, discussing the fact that all guys seem to suck great green monkey butt. My friend decided he would help by letting me know exactly what is holding me back in these situations. Here is some of the conversation.
"I think men are intimidated by a woman who can kick their ass."
Okay. This I can understand. I am a tough person and extremely independant and forward. I think something, I say it. I feel something, I show it. I want something, I do it. This does narrow my playing field somewhat as I need a guy who has balls. I mean, is strong enough in who he is, to be okay with me.
"You can be aggresive, but not forthcoming."
"Don't let him know what he is in for; surprise him."
"You are more open than most other women. Guys can figure it out."
"I think you let too much out; you are too up front. Play a little more mysterious."
Mysterious? WTF? Okay, I am a very open person in most ways. I recognize the fact I should scale back the amount of "me" I let burst forth without thinking. However, I don't get it. I just don't get it. How does one become a mystery? What is the point? Doesn't that constitute playing games? Being someone I am not?
It would seem to me that this defeats the purpose of my personality. However, I do see the good in this advice. I am forward and honest and blunt. This makes me easy to talk to in some cases, but in others, it makes guys terrified of me. I always thought that being open was a good thing. Apparently, it is what is holding me back.
I am a woman. In a world of little and insignificant girls. I need a man. Of which, there seems to be a serious lack.
I did learn one thing that I have deemed to be important and will try to encorporate in my life (whether or not I am dealing with a male or a female) - to focus my attention. When I am talking to someone, I need to give my utmost attention. I need to make people feel more important to me when I am talking to them. I can do that. Whether or not it's true. If I have learned one thing, it is that sincerity can be faked.