Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Driving people crazy

I hate other drivers. I live near the University which means there are a lot of stupid jerk faces who live near me. You know the ones I mean. The guys who are in University, not because they have direction, but because their parents sent them. They spend most the time spending too much money and drinking and trying not to fail their classes. And they are positive they are very cool.

Tonight I had some errands to do and then I was heading to Dad's for supper. So, I loaded the dogs into the car and took off. My brain was somewhere else, though, and I almost took the wrong turn. Long before the intersection, I signalled to go back into the proper lane. Some jerk faced boy was coming up fast behind me and wasn't going to let me in. So, I did what any normal person would do.

I cut him off.

I could see him swear and curse and yell at me. I tried to wave apologetically, but he was having none of it. He was angry. Okay, fine I can handle that. Until the jerk faced boy decided he was going to honk repeatedly and then drive nice and close up behind my car. I started to get a little annoyed. First he doesn't want to let me in at all and now he wants to force the issue? So, I did what any normal person would do.

I backed up until my car was touching his.

Not quickly or anything, but quite slowly and safely. I slipped into reverse and drifted until my car was touching his. His nice, new, shiney, white sports car. I'm pretty sure I saw smoke come out of his ears. I waited there until the light changed and I could turn. He went into the wrong lane and sped up along side me. And then he flipped me the bird. (You know what's coming right?) So, I did what any normal person would do.

I made a pouty face and mouthed "Oh, you poor baby".
Then, I put my finger against my lips and went "B-b-b-b-b-b-b"
And then I laughed.

He swore a bunch more and drove off. He almost took out three cars as I watched him weave in and out of traffic. He narrowly missed hitting an old woman at a crosswalk. Then he sped away. I think he's going out to apply for a gun lisense.

If that's the case? I may have to paint my car and get new lisense plates. But really... it was worth it.

5 comments:

  1. you are my hero! normally, when people tailgate me and we're actually moving, i slam on my brakes - hey, if they hit me, not my fault suckas!!

    i had some kids flip me off for that once. it was awesome.

    i love giving other people road rage. it's oddly satisfying.

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  2. Man, you're brave! Down here, I had a guy get out of his car and threaten me just for honking my horn. I have to say, though, if I had an armored bmw, I would no doubt be a road rage inducing driver. And enjoy it.

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  3. One when I was in grade 10, my friends and I were on our way home and a couple grade 12s guys from our school cut us off. These guys were obviously drunk and had the nevre to get mad at my friend for honking. At teh light they got out of the car and wanted to fight us. What losers. Two 18 year old boys want to fight 4 16 year old girls. I jumped out of the car with a crow bar and they promptly ran off. Those guys could never look me in the eye again.

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  4. A crwbar- what a fantastic job of calling their bluff.

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