I hate other drivers. I live near the University which means there are a lot of stupid jerk faces who live near me. You know the ones I mean. The guys who are in University, not because they have direction, but because their parents sent them. They spend most the time spending too much money and drinking and trying not to fail their classes. And they are positive they are very cool.
Tonight I had some errands to do and then I was heading to Dad's for supper. So, I loaded the dogs into the car and took off. My brain was somewhere else, though, and I almost took the wrong turn. Long before the intersection, I signalled to go back into the proper lane. Some jerk faced boy was coming up fast behind me and wasn't going to let me in. So, I did what any normal person would do.
I cut him off.
I could see him swear and curse and yell at me. I tried to wave apologetically, but he was having none of it. He was angry. Okay, fine I can handle that. Until the jerk faced boy decided he was going to honk repeatedly and then drive nice and close up behind my car. I started to get a little annoyed. First he doesn't want to let me in at all and now he wants to force the issue? So, I did what any normal person would do.
I backed up until my car was touching his.
Not quickly or anything, but quite slowly and safely. I slipped into reverse and drifted until my car was touching his. His nice, new, shiney, white sports car. I'm pretty sure I saw smoke come out of his ears. I waited there until the light changed and I could turn. He went into the wrong lane and sped up along side me. And then he flipped me the bird. (You know what's coming right?) So, I did what any normal person would do.
I made a pouty face and mouthed "Oh, you poor baby".
Then, I put my finger against my lips and went "B-b-b-b-b-b-b"
And then I laughed.
He swore a bunch more and drove off. He almost took out three cars as I watched him weave in and out of traffic. He narrowly missed hitting an old woman at a crosswalk. Then he sped away. I think he's going out to apply for a gun lisense.
If that's the case? I may have to paint my car and get new lisense plates. But really... it was worth it.