Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Things I would like to teach my dogs

Monty (or "Montel, you little bastard")
  • Kissing a human when you have a raw hide bone in your mouth will only result in said bone being placed up human's nose
  • Just because it exists, does not mean you have to a) eat it, b) chew it, c) pee on it, d) taunt your sister b/c you have it and she doesn't. This goes for toys, shoes, underwear and my arm.
  • Seeing another dog and biting your sister, does NOT teach that dog a lesson
Vicki
  • Yes, you are cute
  • However, this diminishes when you bark like mad at dust on the floor and at the neighbourhood children who are just trying to get home from school
  • Pushing and fighting with your brother will likely just make your Mom mad and she will bite your head. It is a risk you take.
  • Hiding outside while the treadmill is on does not protect you if it means you are going to freeze to death
Madison
  • Hiding in your kennel when I say "walk" is not effective. I can still see you.
  • Same goes for closing the door behind you
  • The treadmill cannot play ball with you. Stop giving it the ball and then barking at it to give it back.
  • I'm tired and it is hard to sleep with your tongue in my nose.

3 comments:

  1. This all made me laugh very, very hard, and then I read it out loud to Chris. Seriously, is Maddy's eyesight bad or does she really think the treadmill can play catch?

    I love puppies. It must be said.

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  2. They aren't so cute. Vicki ate poop tonight and threw up all over both couches. Poor Lyn had to clean it up. Yuck. Dogs are gross.

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  3. I laughed too... I mean, treadmills playing catch? How cute is that?

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Crap monkies say "what?"