Things I would like to teach my dogs

Monty (or "Montel, you little bastard")

• Kissing a human when you have a raw hide bone in your mouth will only result in said bone being placed up human's nose
• Just because it exists, does not mean you have to a) eat it, b) chew it, c) pee on it, d) taunt your sister b/c you have it and she doesn't. This goes for toys, shoes, underwear and my arm.
• Seeing another dog and biting your sister, does NOT teach that dog a lesson

Vicki

• Yes, you are cute
• However, this diminishes when you bark like mad at dust on the floor and at the neighbourhood children who are just trying to get home from school
• Pushing and fighting with your brother will likely just make your Mom mad and she will bite your head. It is a risk you take.
• Hiding outside while the treadmill is on does not protect you if it means you are going to freeze to death

Madison

• Hiding in your kennel when I say "walk" is not effective. I can still see you.
• Same goes for closing the door behind you
• The treadmill cannot play ball with you. Stop giving it the ball and then barking at it to give it back.
• I'm tired and it is hard to sleep with your tongue in my nose.