Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Things I would like to teach my dogs

Monty (or "Montel, you little bastard")
  • Kissing a human when you have a raw hide bone in your mouth will only result in said bone being placed up human's nose
  • Just because it exists, does not mean you have to a) eat it, b) chew it, c) pee on it, d) taunt your sister b/c you have it and she doesn't. This goes for toys, shoes, underwear and my arm.
  • Seeing another dog and biting your sister, does NOT teach that dog a lesson
  • Yes, you are cute
  • However, this diminishes when you bark like mad at dust on the floor and at the neighbourhood children who are just trying to get home from school
  • Pushing and fighting with your brother will likely just make your Mom mad and she will bite your head. It is a risk you take.
  • Hiding outside while the treadmill is on does not protect you if it means you are going to freeze to death
  • Hiding in your kennel when I say "walk" is not effective. I can still see you.
  • Same goes for closing the door behind you
  • The treadmill cannot play ball with you. Stop giving it the ball and then barking at it to give it back.
  • I'm tired and it is hard to sleep with your tongue in my nose.


  1. This all made me laugh very, very hard, and then I read it out loud to Chris. Seriously, is Maddy's eyesight bad or does she really think the treadmill can play catch?

    I love puppies. It must be said.

  2. They aren't so cute. Vicki ate poop tonight and threw up all over both couches. Poor Lyn had to clean it up. Yuck. Dogs are gross.

  3. I laughed too... I mean, treadmills playing catch? How cute is that?


Crap monkies say "what?"