I was cleaning up the counter after having cut up some broccoli for lunch. I don't know how broccoli does it. One cut and there are a thousand little pods of broccolis everywhere.
Me [grumbling]: "Stupid broccoli. Miracle food, my ass. If it was miracle food, it would clean up after itself."
The Guy: Yeah, and it wouldn't taste like broccoli.
Me: You love broccoli.
The Guy: [bletch]
Me: Fine. Get yourself some carrots.
The Guy: Don't even get me started on carrots.