The Guy's standard answer for everything is "A kick in the ass." My answer for what I want for my birthday has been "A poke in the eye."*
You can tell I got a little confused between the two when my brother asked what I wanted this year. I replied "A poke in the ass."
That's not quite what I meant.
*My other standard is our family's favourite. "I want a new bum. Mine's cracked."