Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Or, I'll feed them to death

I took the dogs to the vet yesterday. Just Madison and Vicki. Montel stayed home by himself for the first time. He wasn't overly impressed, but I gave him a handful of dog treats as I left. Madison had her regular check up and vaccinations to get taken care of. Vicki was there to be checked out before flying out West to live with Ky.

Last year, Madison had been chewing her feet to the point of agony. The vet assumed it was allergies (and not "the crazy" which I assumed) so I was told to change her diet. For 8 months, we have fed the dogs a dry food made of fish and potato.

It didn't cure Madison's chewing. It did, however, cause Vicki to have the rankest farts known to man. Madison started eating her own food as well as the food belonging to everyone else. I accredit this to the fact it smelled like crotch. We were all thankful when the 8 month trial was over and we could go back to the non-crotch smelling dog food.

Fast forward to the vet visit, where the tech took Madison to be weighed. She came back grimacing and told me Madison has gained some significant weight this year. 2.3 kg to be exact. Or, for the non-kg people, 5 lbs. FIVE. POUNDS.

She only weighs 18 lbs. Well, at least she used to. Five pounds to a dog that size is like 50 lbs to a human. I was stunned. I mean, I know Maddy has been eating every one's food, but to gain this much? What did I do? I pondered. Oh. What I did was forget to change the amount of food given to each dog based on the amount of calories in the food. Oops.

So, now Vicki has gained 2 lbs since October and Montel has seemed a little heftier than usual. Madison has officially entered into the obese category. And now? The whole house is on a diet. Myself included.


  1. I realize that this isn't the point, but let me just say that I'm proud to have only put on 2 dog pounds in the last year.

  2. It makes it so much easier to be on a diet when you can do it alongside your friends. Ha!

    Sorry...I just had to say it. Now I'll go back to my own prison diet of bread and water, hold the butter please. lol

  3. Just to be clear, the diet food won't smell like crotch too - cause that would suck.

  4. As the blind man said when he passed the fish market "Good afternoon, ladies".


Crap monkies say "what?"