Friday, July 25, 2008

Not enough of one, I'd wager

My sister brought home poop bags this week for our dogs. Being that there are three of them and I haven't convinced them to cease with their regular bodily functions, they create a substantial amount of poop. (Despite Vicki's best efforts to eat her weight in it at least once a month.) I use a copious amount of plastic bags to ensure my pups don't leave anything untoward on neighbour's lawns. Thus, we are responsible for a large part of the global crisis -- little bags of poop crowding the landfills.

The bags my sister brought home this week are biodegradable. I was very excited by this news. No longer will my dog's excrement sit forever in garbage dumps (tee hee), but instead, they will be able to return to the earth as nature intended. Now we will be able to clean up after our miserable creatures pets and not pollute the world any worse than we have to. Awesome!

So excited was I that I chose to keep reading of all the things these bags would offer me. Sadly, I have still not found a bag which will clean up after the dogs itself, but technology is a grand thing, I am sure it is coming sometime. What these bags do agree to provide are a few simple things. They are: Easy! Convenient! No Contact! Scented!

Scented?

Confused, and perhaps a little curious, I read that again. Yup. Scented. Many questions sprang to mind, but most urgently was "Of what scent?" I gingerly pulled out a bag and brought it to my nose. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I figured these bags were intended for poop pick up. Could they have stooped so low as to make them smell like it?

I inhaled and was met by the scent of... chocolate wafers.

WHAT??? Chocolate wafers. For one, why does this company think I want my dog's temporary feces holder to smell like food? For two, who do they think they are fooling? I doubt it's going to mask anything. Or even make it more palatable, really. This bag of feces smells akin to Grandma's baking. I do not understand.

All I know is the bags work for the purpose they are intended. They transport icky things to the garbage without making me touch it directly. I don't think the scent has really enhanced the experience all that much, but I'm keeping an open mind. Maybe next time, they will come out with strawberry.

6 comments:

  1. Chocolate wafers? Seriously? That's amazing. Does it help contain the smell at all?

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  2. I'm not sure that I would want anything that is brown and smushy to smell like chocolate, unless it IS chocolate.

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  3. I do not want to scare you. I don't. But my husband once bought "scented" poop bags that were vanilla. And after a while, the combination of poop and vanilla became so.. wrong.. that I couldn't eat anything vanilla for a while without swearing I could also smell poop. Hold your breath lest you not be able to consume chocolate soon.. :)

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  4. Just think, if cities could collect all the dog poop and turn it into bio-gas (methane) they could save on electricity too. Calculate # dogs x daily poop x 365 and it adds up to lots of methane. Didn't you always want to know this?

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  5. Ah, that makes me laugh out loud. Love it!

    Thanks for the comment - I'm glad I found your site ;)

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  6. You have GOT to be kidding me?! Oh well, I guess at least your hands will smell nice after cleaning up your babies' poopage. lol

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Crap monkies say "what?"