Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I smell like a homeless man

With this stupid throat infection, I am supposed to be gargling with antiseptic mouthwash. The only one I could find was Listerine. The only kind I figured I would be able to stomach was citrus. Unfortunately, Listerine is the drink of choice for many of my clients.

Every time I gargle, I almost throw up. The taste, the smell - the whole thing reeks of homeless, toothless, smelly old man. Soon I will take to sitting topless on benches outside of my office. I will eat sandwiches from the soup kitchen and shop for free clothing at the Salvation Army.

But I will have fresh breath damn it.

1 comment:

  1. Well if you add "come hang out at the library all day" to that list, I'll be here waiting for you. (As will a few others I suspect, if you're planning on showing up topless.)

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