Tuesday, July 31, 2007

The sound of silence

My throat infection is back. Last night I went into work and my throat was kind of bugging me. By the time I was done shift, it hurt to swallow. This morning at 8, my tongue was swollen again. And now it is yellow. Yellow. Seriously. What the?? I look like a 4 year old who has eaten a fist-sized gobstopper.

I went to see the doctor this morning. I thought she would give me more anti-biotics and send me on my merry way. Except she is uber concerned. She ordered chest Xrays and swabs and blood tests and told me I have to come see her in two days. And here is the worst part - I am not allowed to talk until then.

I'm... not allowed... to talk? But! But!! I have to talk. It's what I do for a living. I'm a counsellor. I have to speak to counsel. Also, I love to talk. LOVE IT. Not as much as some people I know, but I do love it. And now, I can't talk. Well... I'm not supposed to.

The problem is, I have realized I talk all the time. To the dogs, to myself, to strangers, to clerks at the store, to people on the phone, to the walls. And I miss it. Already. No one else will, I imagine. "The Guy"** is already planning on torturing me the entire time. My brother called me when I texted that I wasn't allowed to talk and mocked me for it. The dogs will not know when they are being bad. The girls will gossip and I won't be able to join them. It will be anarchy!!*

This is the lamest way to get the whole summer off. Sorry boss, I have to stay home. I have a sore throat.

*Whoever knows this quote gets imaginary high fives!

**Oops. I didn't mean to put his name. It's hard to remember.


  1. For serious? You know my mother and sister and claim that I'm the one who lives to talk. As I've said before me talking is kind of like kids in a large family at supper time -- you grab what you can when you can because there will be no leftovers.

  2. I tried to link to both you and Maryanne. There was a glitch and only showed you. I have adjusted it. And yes, I agree that you talk for the same reason that I eat too much - if you didn't talk as much as you could, you would never have spoken.

  3. "if you didn't talk as much as you could, you would never have spoken."

    That was oddly deep. Perhaps silence will do you some good.

  4. So "The Guy"'s name makes an appearance in the blog....interesting. Has he seen it yet?

  5. I forgot to mention: sorry to hear your tongue is yellow. That super sucks. When you mentioned to me that your throat still hurt I was going to suggest going back to your doctor. I don't remember why I didn't.

  6. Oh no! You poor girl!

    And I have no idea how I would manage to not talk. I had to do it for a weekend, when I was really sick, and it pretty nearly killed me.

  7. Well at least you can use this time to work on your looks. I don't mean fancy yourself up, I mean the "looks". Like the "stop being such a shithead" look or the "shut-up and help me" look. You know.
    That or you could get yourself a tiny chalk board and hang it around your neck like they used to give to mute children.
    Man, if I were any better at making people feel better I don't think I'd be able to stand myself.


Crap monkies say "what?"