I have started writing numerous times tonight. Nothing is flowing right. I'm not funny or clever or insightful. I am not bitchy or bitter or heartbroken. I am not overflowing with happiness or sadness or anger. I just am. And that's about it.
A month later and I am still feeling sick. I am getting tired of this. A coworker (and ex friend - hi Jess!) told me it was because after 30 you go downhill. This may be true. Certainly since my last birthday I have been more ill and more tired than I know what to do with.
I suppose I would likely get healthy if I would stop doing things and just rest. However, I am entirely incapable of that. This last weekend, I went to take half a cow to my sister-in-law and brother. This weekend, I am going to the cabin with the whole famn damily to visit my aunt. Then I was planning on driving home, packing my car again and heading to Spokane.
Apparently I have a death wish. So, I have changed my mind. I am staying home from Spokane for the first time in years. I am heartbroken. Mostly because I will not get to see QoWP's husband (whom she stole from me and whom I adore with all my heart). Also because it is such a great retreat - totally relaxing and rejuvenating. I just don't want to drive all that way by myself (two days after anyone else going has already left) and then feel sick the whole time I am away. So, it's decided.