Monday, July 23, 2007

Dancing about architecture*

How do you define love? How do you comprehend dating? How do you explain the process of trying to find love and figuring out who you love and why and how? Sometimes I imagine trying to explain it to someone who doesn't understand the concept instinctively (either an alien or a particular socially retarded friend - think hard and you know who I mean) and it is so frustrating because it doesn't make sense. Nor will it ever. Stop trying to dissect it!!

I have many theories about love. I have a theory that you can learn to love anyone. Or, in the very least, you can show love to anyone. You can be a loving person and act in a loving manner to anyone. Any two people thrown into a situation can make a real relationship if both are willing to work at it. That is why some arranged marriages work - really work. That is why some "love matches" fail - really fail. It's all about what you are willing to do to make it work and make the other person feel loved.

The goal of dating is to find a match - a person to share with and be a partner and accept you and make you laugh and hold you when you cry, etc. At least, that is what I understood the goal to be. Now some people think dating is strictly for "fun" or "release" or "entertainment". Fine. If you are 16, yes, that is the goal. By the time you are in your mid 20s, that should not be your goal. If it is, you are shallow and your life is incomplete. Sorry to say it, but it's likely true.

And how do you know if you are in a good match? How do you know if you love someone - truly love someone - when you can realistically love lots of different people? When do you know that "feelings" are becoming more than just "feelings" and turning into more? If you ask people, they say "Oh, you just know". Well, I think that's bullshit. (Sorry for the swearing, Auntie) I want a definition so that I know for sure.

I think being "in love" is totally separate from actually being in love. I think being "in love" is where you adore people for the things that later on in your relationship will make you want to stab them in the eyeballs. Love is something else. I would tell you what it is, but I have no idea. I have thought numerous times that I was "in love" and that I truly loved a person. Or more than one person. Or an entire boy band of persons. But I didn't. I don't have a flying clue about what it is.

But I feel like I need to figure it out.

*Few people will understand this quote unless you are aware of my passion for a movie called "Playing by Heart".


  1. Graison Swaan27/07/2007, 13:32

    that's funny, i was having a very simulair converstion with someone about this very thing

  2. You would be my socially retarded friend.

  3. true, i went out with you after all


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