Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I just want the cuffs and the gun

It has been announced that the fair city in which I live is hiring 60 new members for its police force. I am getting pressure from some friends and co-workers to apply. It isn't the first time I have considered applying, but it is the first time I really thought about it seriously. And looked into it further.

It isn't that I'm not happy at my job, because I am. However, I have been wondering if this is what my life will be - all completed and planned and achieved at the young age of 30. Sure, I still have the possibilities of a spouse and kids and all that, but if it doesn't happen, then I am alone in my house with my dogs and my job I've been at for 7 years (and 5 months today) and will continue to be at for another 35 years.

35 years. God help me.

So, I am thinking about it. Except for the part that will be my downfall, I am pretty qualified. My downfall? The exercise requirements. Ugh. I will need to train for 6 months before I will be able to qualify. And I will need to be able to run and work out and all that in order to pass the test. The running minimum is 45 mins at 9-10 km/hour pace.

I once ran for 9 minutes. It took 45 to get my breath back. Now, to be fair, I can walk the crap out of most people. I walk quickly and forever. No probs. My mother and I once won a walk-a-thon by a good 15 mins before anyone else even crossed (we were talking and people were in our way, so we went around them). I love to walk. Make me run and I am face down in a puddle of my own sweat rather shortly.

So, can I do it? Maybe. But I would have to want it. And, meh, who really wants to be in that good of shape anyways? But would I want to be a cop? Being that it was my dream from age 12 on, should I consider getting my ass in gear? I don't know.

Maybe I will toss the whole "helping people" thing and become a decorator. Or a carpenter. I do love my staple gun. I bet I could get a ton of awesome tools doing that job.

No cuffs though.


  1. Training for running isn't actually that hard. Commit to moving forward for 45 minutes straight (I recommend doing it inside, preferably at a gym where you can watch tv). Every time you run, run for one minute more than the time before, spacing the running times around good long walking breaks. (ie walk 5min, run 1min, walk 20min, run 1min, etc) I'm already up to running for 14 minutes out of 30, and it feels pretty good. Don't push yourself too far too fast; that guarantees failure, despair, and makes injuries much more likely.

    YOU CAN DO IT!!! :)

  2. I was vehemently anti-running until I wasn't. I just made sure I had some great songs on my iPod and got to it! You'd be surprised by how enjoyable it can actually be.

    As for the cop thing, do it! I don't know any cops.

  3. Best kept secret in law enforcement...

    Provincial Court House Deputy Sheriff.

    You get the gun, cuffs, and you don't have to work shift work. No physical test required. Fighting and "verbal correction" a daily part of the job.

    Oh yeah, I just delurked myself.

    We know some of the same people. Blogger sucks and won't let me sign in under my account.


  4. When you close your eyes and imagine quitting your job and starting police training, do you feel excited and up, or pressured and down? It's like breaking up with someone. If the thought of breaking up makes you feel relieved, then yes, break up. So if the thought of being in the police makes you happy then try. It's not like they're going to suck the social work knowledge out of your head, you know. You can always go back!

  5. Yes I highly encourage you to become a cop! (Note: I will then take your job) But here's a thought, maybe we both become cops, then partners and really scare people! Here's a downside to being a cop- you wouldn't get to play with the kids, and most people hate cops more than they hate us...which is suprising and quite a feat!

  6. Julia: Thanks for the tips! Once I can breathe again I will give it a try.

    KID: I may have to have someone else plan my music. I'm a fan of slow, depressing stuff. Not much to help the running.

    Lynette: Welcome! That isn't a bad idea. However, I love to be on the street and as ridiculous as it is, I love shift work!

    KB: I'm not breaking up with my job quite yet. Nor am I in love with being a cop. But we'll see. Maybe I will just have coffee with it first and see how it goes.

    Jess: Screw that!! You are so not getting my job. If I go, I am taking you with me!

  7. Ooh, running! I like running. I'm sure I could help whip you into shape...

    You can take that as a threat or a promise, as you choose.

  8. Matt, come near me and I will cut you. You think I'm kidding, but I am so not!!


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