Friday, October 06, 2006

Conversations with the politely challenged

I went to Dad's condo today to pick up mail and check on things. Stuck in the door jamb was a note that said "Call me about furniture" with a name and number.

Being that Dad is in Ukraine, I call it. A woman answered and this is how the conversation went.

"Hello, may I speak to Lauren?"
"And who is that?"
"I really have no idea." Shouldn't she know??
"And who are you?"
"And do I know you?"
"No, I don't think so."
"Then why would you be calling here?"
You're kidding me, right??
"There was a note left at my Dad's house requesting someone to call about furniture."

And here, her tone changes...
"Oh yes, of course! Thank you so much for calling."
"No problem at all. Now, about the furniture?"
"Yes, yes. I was in your father's house the other day and saw his beautiful maple bookshelves. I would like to buy them."
"Oh, well those aren't for sale."
"But he's moving to Ukraine, isn't he? He can't be taking them with him."
This is her business how??

"Well, yes, he is moving to Ukraine, but will be keeping a small home here for when he comes home a few months of the year. And if he was selling his furniture, his children have dibs."
"Oh, of course. He will be going back and forth? The rumour was he is getting married to a woman there."
The rumour??
"Yes, he is. They will be living part time there and part time here."
"Well, that will never last."

Thank you, old lady I have never met. I will let my father know that you feel his marriage and living arrangements will not last. I am sure he will put that knowledge to good use.


  1. Ha! That's hilarious. Busy-body old lady.

  2. Wow. It's a real-life Mary Worth. Next thing you know, she'll be having an intervention for your dad.

    (You need to read the Comics Curmudgeon. For serious.)

  3. Oh my goodness. Who says stuff like that?

  4. This was hysterical! Out of the mouths of babes...and old people.


  5. who says stuff like that? REally old people. Apparently (and this should really worry some people!) we have sort of a dam in our heads, that keeps us from blurting just any old thing. With age...that dam breaks down. So whatever you say to yourself in your head now you will be saying out loud in the future.


Crap monkies say "what?"