I'm so unstable

Sometimes I scare myself with how completely out of control I am.

Today, I was lounging around the house doing some errands and paying some bills. I walked the dog and wore my new running shoes that I got to help with my hip and back issues. I went to get ready for work and decided I felt like wearing these shoes to work. With my jean shorts and a tank top.

But then I realized that I would be cold in the office and likely wouldn't want to go without a sweatshirt. But then I couldn't find the sweat shirt I wanted. So, I changed tank tops and wore a different zip-up. Then I decided I couldn't wear shorts. So I put on jeans. But I didn't like how they looked with the shoes. So I went to Wal-Mart and bought a pair of sweat pants. Then I went home and changed into my new sweat pants and left for work.

As I am driving to work, it dawns on me that I look ridiculous. I look like I have just come from the gym and desperately need to shower and change. I berated myself the whole way to work for dressing like this. And now I have to spend a whole 10 hours looking like I'm interviewing for an excercise video later tonight.

I know I am going to go home and Lyn is going to look at me and say "What are you wearing?" And I am going to have to admit that I know what it looks like, but I had a melt down. Seriously, a melt down. I lost all control. And what I need is love and acceptance, not ridicule and judgement.