Saturday, May 13, 2006


To: pedestrians and cyclists.

Dear morons,
If I have a green light and you have a red light, this means you are to wait. It's my turn.

If you so foolishly decide to dart out across the street in front of me, I will hit you. I will bounce you off my car like we're in a pinball machine and you are the ball. I will not hesitate, alter my course, slow down or feel any remorse.

I am in a car. You are a tiny person. I will win. And, the law will be on my side.

Thank you,


  1. Word up. People hate riding with me because I'm always complaining about cyclists. The stupidest guy I've ever seen cycling... wait, there are too many. Okay, one of the stupidest was this guy who had his, like, three-year-old kid cycling behind him (training wheels and all!) on an extremely dangerous thoroughfare. Another was this lady pulling her multiple infants (all in a little cart which jutted into traffic) down a 55 MPH ROAD.

    Okay, I'll stop, now.

  2. Every time I see Mormons or hear people talking about them, I think of Ky and her cheer. Thanks, Bronwyn. :)

  3. Arian, I love you. However, you did make it sound like I equate morons with Mormons. And that's not entirely true. I don't sing the song for morons.

  4. This is off topic, but everytime I say "Word up," I say it in an East Indian accent.

  5. I've been saying "Word" a lot lately. But in the most "I'm a white, white woman" way ever. It's funny.

  6. I think you should have one of those taxi things on top of your car, the ones that have electronic signs that say things, like the stock market does. Then you can have that whole post playing repeatedly when you drive.

    Wait - that will make even more people mess up, 'cause they'll all be trying to read what it says. So never mind.


Crap monkies say "what?"