Reasons why I need to buy stock in Lobello lip balm.

A few months ago, my dog Maddy got a taste for lip gloss. I'm not sure why. Maybe because it was in the pockets of my jeans which were laying on the floor and she could smell a hint of cherry. Maybe because she knew it would make me mental. But one morning I wake up and Madison is bleeding from the mouth. No wait, that isn't blood. That's cherry lip balm. It just looks like bleeding from the mouth. She had gone into my pants, withdrawn the lip balm container and eaten the entire thing. Sigh. There's $3 well spent. Since then, it has been a race as to who can get the lip balm before the other. I have to hide it before I got to bed or she will eat it the second I fall asleep. (Oh she may look sweet, but she's devious, I tell you.) So, heaven forbid, I am too tired to remember to remove the lip balm (that is now starting to cost about $5 per application) from the jeans. This morning, I forgot again. I took my clothes into the bathroom and dumped them on the floor. I jump into the shower and go to it. I come out and I see a plastic piece of something on the floor. "Noooooooooooooooooooo" I scream and lunge from the tub wrapped in half a towel into the living (with the open window - my neighbours now have a lovely view of my bum) and rescue my lip balm. I was too late. Its all gone. However, Maddy's lips look quite moist.