Callipygian or I like big butts

Word provided by a friend who doesn't want to admit she knows this word because it will ruin her reputation as a scholar.

I have a bum.  It's called the Ross Rump.  It's genetic.

My bum isn't wide, but it sticks out from my body like a projectile.  It's less pronounced now than it was when I was younger, but it's still there.  I used to joke I could set a cup of coffee on it and walk around.

Now I can only do that with my boobs.

Last spring, I got a pair of those Sketcher Shapers shoes.  They promised to tone my butt and thighs, so I coughed up the money and wore them every where.

They worked.  My butt is now hard as a rock.  I could crack walnuts between my cheeks and will often offer to let people poke my butt muscles to see for themselves.  This does not go over well if they don't know me.

As I approach the middle of my 30s, I recognize this is as good as it gets.  And even though it's not as perky or smooth as I would like, I'm pretty okay with it.

You would be too!  Wanna touch it?