December 12 Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (prompt by @patrickcantype)
I have never particularly been fond of my body -- not what it looks like, nor how it feels. There is always something I am unhappy with, something I feel should be different, something that is unlike other people's and therefore not as good. My body (like many women's) is a point of constant contention and worry and disgust.
This year, however, I have been aware of my body in a different way. Since the diagnosis of Celiac's disease, I have been hyper aware of every part of my body. For good or bad. Suddenly, I knew that the things that had always been part of my body were no longer "normal". Suddenly, I felt good and realized that how I'd been living for years was not how it needed to be.
Since that time, I've been much more aware of my body. More aware of how it feels, how it reacts, and what is good for it. I am aware of what I put in it and how much. I am aware of the changes in it from day to day. And, I'm learning to appreciate it.
A lot of my new-found appreciation for my body has come from the fact that I am in my 30s. I can look back at my body and say that I have never been quite as fat as I thought I was. And now, I'm losing weight, maintaining a healthier weight, and determined to keep it that way.
This coming year, I plan to get back into exercising more so that I can better take care of the body that I have learned to begrudgingly accept. I'm determined to take it for what it is and celebrate it while I can.
It may not be much, but it's all I've got. Best to keep it happy.