Friday, July 30, 2010

Me as a child: I was a big, fat liar

Going through my childhood things, each assignment for school had a theme: it was an "I'm full of crap" theme.  Story after story of my life, things I did, etc were complete and utter bull*^$%.

Take for instance, the story of my dog Sandy.

Heart warming, isn't it?

In case you can't read it, it says:
My Pet Dog.
I have a pet dog named Sandy.  
When I was a baby, I would go on his back and he'd take me for a ride.
Then I would throw my ball.
I loved Sandy.

Yeah, I didn't have a pet dog.  Let alone one named Sandy.  I have no idea where I came up with this dog.  I mean, except for the name which I obviously got from watching Annie three hundred times.  Apart from that, the only time I ever saw a dog that looked like a horse was at my friend Candi's house and it's name was Sadie.


Apparently, I was a little jealous.

A few years later, I wrote a poem for the first day of school.

This poem says:
First Day of School
I wonder if my drawings will be as good as theirs
I wonder if they'll like me or just be full of stares
I wonder if my teacher will look like Mom or Gram
I wonder if my puppy will wonder where I am

Now, ignoring the extreme lack of confidence in my social skills and self-esteem, not the last line.  Again with the damn puppy!!  I mean, I give myself props for the poem rhyming and having proper rhythm and such, but really... why did I feel I needed to lie?

Also, why didn't my parents just get me a dog already?


  1. You already know the answer to that - because your mother said NO. Because she would have ended up looking after it and four kids of her own plus half the neighbourhood kids were considered to be sufficient.
    Looking back, it was a mistake.
    I am sorry. We should have had a dog. However, NOBODY contradicted your mother.

  2. I can't help but laugh!

    Did you ever get a dog? Do you have one in your adult life?

    They say kids come up with the strangest things!

  3. Just so you know ... my dog is almost as big as a horse and seems to be getting bigger. We've made many jokes about having him wear a saddle rather than his harness!

  4. You wouldn't send a knight out on a dog like this?

  5. I love that poem. Seriously.


Crap monkies say "what?"