Tuesday, April 06, 2010

I have a complaint about women's night clothes

Despite the fact I'm repeating myself, I'm going to say it again.  I have a complaint about women's night clothes.  Since there doesn't seem to be a good outlet to take my complaint to, I will voice it to you all.  And you will have to suffer.

Women's night clothes come in two varieties: 1) heavenly comfortable but utilitarian (read: ugly) or 2) sinfully gorgeous but completely impractical (read: my boobs fall out).  My brother's just stopped reading to go throw up.  Sorry about that.  (If you're of weak stomach, or genetically related to me, you can stop here.)

Don't get me wrong.  I love pretty night clothes.  Nightgowns, robes, short sets, etc.  I love them.  I had them long before I had anyone to look at them.  They are soft and slinky and shiny and silky.  Beautiful. 

And completely impossible to sleep in.

I have two sets of night clothes.  The first group consists of sweat pants or yoga pants of varying shapes, sizes and thicknesses (some for winter, some for summer) and tank tops or T shirts.  Sometimes I wear a sports bra for extra support and/or layers.  These are comfortable night clothes and I love them.  However, they are not pretty.  They are great for cold nights and times when you are sick, or just don't want to wear grownup clothes.

The second set of nightwear I own consists of pretty colours, soft materials, sprinkles of lace, slips of cotton, and the complete inability to hold my boobs anywhere for any length of time.  I got a good portion of pretty nightwear for our wedding and managed to break most of it within the first night of wearing it.  No, it wasn't anything exciting that caused it.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  There was no ripping of bodices.  It was just me.  I put these items on and they knew what they were in for.

I'm a roller.  I toss, I turn, I scoot, I wiggle.  Night clothing is in for a rough time.  Pretty and delicate nightgowns are mercilessly torn from my body as I decide to go one way and the clothing stays behind.  Straps break, seams pull, lace tears.  I wake up with one strap missing, one boob hanging out, and the entire nightgown on backwards.  It is not a pretty sight.

I've tried to stay away from wearing these items for any length of time.  They are now more for presentation and less for practicality.  I then moved towards little tank and short sets or slinky long pants to try and combine the two clothing dimensions.  Alas, this too is not meant to be.

Pretty tank tops are, let's say, less about function and more about design.  They are lovely and soft, but I am forever falling out of them.  These outfits are meant for those with less than a B cup of feminine goodness.  Those who don't need a village to support "the girls".  However, I am determined I will not be thwarted.  I will continue to search for a set of night clothes that are pretty and stay put, but I worry it will be a long search.

Until then, The Guy is going to have to get used to T shirts and sweat pants.


  1. That's why I sleep naked.


  2. You are a great seamstress ... design and make yourself something sexy AND functional! Personally, I have more trouble keeping the flabby butt cheeks tucked in that the boobs!!

  3. Jan de'Lancey06/04/2010, 16:36

    I totally agree with you! If you find a set (or design one) you HAVE to share! Something that doesnt cost an arm and a leg as well. lol

  4. I just had the same thoughts just yesterday. Sears was having an "intimates" sale. I left with a nightgown that I fall out of... but at least fit into in the first place.

    I think that the secret is in the UK/European brands. Brands like Freya, Fantasie, Chantelle, have bras that come in F cups (trust me, I know - I'm a fan of Freya). They've branched out and done swim wear that is sized by cup size and appropriately supportive (which is pretty fantastic... my boobs need the the XXXXL, not the rest of me. Not that I've had the money to try them...) And, if they haven't branched out into the kind of nightwear you're looking for, they likely will soon.

    Suggestion? Go to a specialty store (even Grande Prairie had one where I could go and fall in love with a $130 Freya that I love so much I've worn out though not à la mode de Ky who had a "wardrobe malfunction" today. I then found the exact same bra on ebay for $30-40. I bought my first two from the shop, because the ladies were wonderfully helpful, but buy all the rest from ebay now that I know which styles and sizes work for me. Visit one of the shops. Explore these brands, and the comb the net for better prices.
    and let me know if you find something that works 'cause I'm in that want-to-have-something-pretty,comfortable,functional-even-though-there's-no-one-to-see-it stage too, and functional is winning out.

  5. Naked. Sleep naked. Do not, however do so when you have children that sleep walk or you're visiting someone else's house and YOU sleep walk.

    I trust that you'll take my experienced word on the not around others part of this bit of advice.

  6. I think the pretty night clothes are more meant to be taken off than to be slept in. Or that's what I've been told anyways. Sigh.....

  7. Regarding my wardrobe malfunction: bra strap broke in the library yesterday. I was in a horizontally striped shirt, and my left boob was two rows lower than the right.


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