Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I'm so hungry, I could eat a crib full of babies. As long as they are made of bread.

Every time I start a diet... pardon me.  Every time I begin a "lifestyle change", I go through a week of absolute ravenous starvation.  No matter what it is, the moment my body knows there is going to be a change in the way I eat, it revolts by immediately demanding all the things I have decided it cannot have.

It knows what is bad for it and it wants it NOW.  My body is a three year old child in midst of a tantrum.

Since finding out I'm Celiac and discovering what it means, I have been off the gluten.  Today is day 7 and it is all I can do not to rip a loaf of French bread from someone's hands, and beat them to death with it, before standing with a foot on their neck while I devour the entire loaf in one bite.

Sigh.  That sounds awesome.

And yes, I know, there are lots of gluten free breads and cinnamon buns and muffins and BLAH BLAH.  I don't care.  I'm pouting.  So stuff it.

The Guy says I've lost weight already.  While this did get him major bonus points and loads of affection, I have not verified this fact with the All Mighty Wii.  When I do, I am sure I will be quite pleased and thankful and whatever.

But right now, I want to drown my sorrows in Sticky Toffee Pudding.  With a side of bread.


  1. You need a baked potato with melted butter and sour cream, STAT!

  2. Dude, you're so right. It may ebb the beast for awhile.

  3. I don't know what sticky pudding is, but now I want some. Are oats gluteny? (is that a word?) I've been making instant oats, brown sugar, cinnamon and apples in the microwave for a few nights now and it helps with the sweet tooth.

  4. You can still eat decadently with celiac disease.
    Another idea: fried polenta with Parmesan cheese. You can buy it pre-made in a tube. You just slice off a piece and throw it on a greased frying pan. Sprinkle with cheese. It is also good with pasta sauce. Totally addictive. One problem is that is once you open the package it doesn't last long.

  5. I wonder if you could make that gluten-free brownie recipe that Ky's been making, and then cover it in toffee sauce.

    When Ky was at this point of gluten detox, we consumed the largest quantity of caramel corn ever. Crazy amounts of caramel popcorn.

  6. CUH-RAZY amounts of caramel popcorn. And that's when I put back on every pound of weight I'd lost. Oh, and then I found out jujubes were glutenfree.

  7. Celiac or no, don't eat my baby!


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