Thursday, July 16, 2009

Dear People who lived here before us: You suck.

First off, who takes all the toilet paper when they leave? In what land of douchebaggery is this okay? Common decency says you leave behind what is on the roll. Then, the buyers of your home will not be faced without toilet paper when they run in to use the bathroom after a long day of moving stuff. You suck.

Secondly, just because you sold the house does not mean you are not responsible for its upkeep until you move out. Not pulling a single weed in your backyard from the date we signed to the date you move out is not okay. Especially when you have not bothered to put down grass in the THREE YEARS you have been living here. To come to our new home and be faced with 4 foot tall weeds covering 800 square feet of lawn is not okay. PS. You suck.

Thirdly, the paint colour in the bathroom is disgusting. You have fairly decent taste in colouring and decor, but that is so not right. No one wants to go for a relaxing bath a colour that is the mix of the skin colour crayon and ripe baby poop. It doesn’t look too badly in the dark, but when the light is on it makes my eyes bleed. You still suck.

Fourthly, where am I supposed to put the towels? What about the linens? The extra blankets? What did you do with them? Because I cannot figure it out. There is one closet that seems to be appropriate, but it’s so far from the bathroom I need a donkey and a tour guide. I do not understand. Why do you suck?

Fifthly. Fifthly. That is a really weird word. Have you noticed that? Oh, sorry, I lost my original point. I love my house. But you people? You suck.

Love May-B and The Guy

3 comments:

  1. Do I take it you are unhappy?

    ReplyDelete
  2. A thoughtful person would have left you a basket with some essentials to get you thru the first 2 days. A couple rolls of TP, a bar of soap, paper towel (to wash and wipe your potty hands), paper plates, plastic cutlery and cups, and the phone number for the nearest pizza delivery place. And in your case, a jug of Round-Up.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sucky people suck. I had a friend who moved in to her new home to find the previous owners had taken the wallpaper border from the kitchen. And light fixtures in the livingroom.

    Seriously, who takes down a wallpaper border?!? They sucked.

    ReplyDelete

Crap monkies say "what?"