Knowing I have to be awake in a minimal amount of hours (what? No one else needs 10 hours to get a good sleep?) makes me anxious and completely wide awake. I have been thinking and stressing about numerous things anyway which have been making sleep a little less common for me.
I'm stressing about:
- wedding details -- trying to complete the image that is in my head while allowing for others opinions. It's not just about the bride. Regardless of what people tell you.
- my weight -- I put on my wedding dress and it is much more snug than when I bought it a month ago. I am going to start trying it on every time I want to eat crap. And then bending down to put on my shoes. Because I almost blew the zipper when I tried that last night.
- my house -- the open house was slow. Two people through it only. Nice things to say except that it's too small. I know it will sell eventually. However, the sun will burn out eventually too.
- my dogs -- I miss my dogs. But they aren't even mine now and that makes it worse. Montel doesn't cuddle, he doesn't just sit and rest, he doesn't give kisses when I need them, etc. He's not really my dog. Monty is The Guy's dog. I miss my dog.
- union stuff -- I don't want to be involved any more. The work is way more intensive than I was lead to believe. The hours are constant and I will be spending more days in March and April in meetings or at conferences than I will be at home.
- my inability to stick up for myself. Especially in situations where I really need to. I only speak my mind if I am positive there will be no negative backlash. Otherwise, I'm a wimp. And I'm getting pushed around.