Today, I bought the dogs some penises. Or, is it peni? Well, I bought them dicks, at any rate. I didn't mean to do it. I never intended on feeding my dogs any genitalia at all.
But I did. I bought them penises. To eat.
In my own defense, I had no idea. I was at a feed store my Dad loves to get loud shirts at. I was buying new dog food and thought I would get the dogs a treat. I stumbled on these chews called Texas Toothpicks and thought, "Hey these are neat and pointy!"
I give them to the dogs later discover these innocent looking picks are picks of another kind. The bull variety to be specific. I don't even want to think about it, really. But, I know for sure, I am not going to be able to allow the dogs to kiss me ever again.
I keep thinking, "Dude. You've had a bull penis in your mouth." And he didn't buy dinner or anything.
Now the house smells like cow and the dogs are playing a game where they try to lick me and I run screaming. They think it's funny. I'm trying not to throw up.
In other news, the dog food I bought them smells like fish.
Ok, I may have been wrong. This site http://www.dogtoys.com/teto12pa.html says they are beef "tails", but I think that is a lie because they don't want people to know they are dried penis!! That food is so stinky hey, but do the dogs like it?
ReplyDeleteThey love them. We've had three knock down fights since I got home. So far, Maddy's won. What can I say? She really likes her penis.
ReplyDeleteHO-lee crap. That's awesome.
ReplyDeleteEveryone needs a good penis to eat every now and then.....right??
ReplyDeletepeace
#2
Dude, that is seriously f`ed up.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a cock and bull story to me
ReplyDeleteSigh. I just laughed at dad's joke.
ReplyDeleteMy dog loves these--I don't! But it does keep him happily occupied. I find it's best not to tell a boy dog what that thing they are gnawing really is-- kind of like not mentioning your dog's impending "snip" to a man, unless you want to provoke the involuntary crotch protective maneuver. If you want to avoid the stank, do not evah! evah! evah!bring your dog a cow hoof. You're welcome.
ReplyDelete