I have a list of things I think about. Scratch that. Worry about. It's the same list, recycled as many times as I can. You know the phrase. "Lather, rinse, repeat."
I go over the list often in my head. Worrying each topic until you would think there was nothing left. Taking action against some items, but mostly lying in defeat on the couch knowing things have spiralled beyond my control.
The same issues that everyone faces, I have allowed them to worm their way into my unconsciousness so that even moments I am not awake are feeding on my concerns. Money, family, food, bills, productivity, weight gain, all funnel around me struggling for who will gain the forefront of my thoughts today.
And I feel guilty. For worrying. For not solving these problems. For not setting them aside. For not sucking it up because other people have problems way worse than mine. For not doing more for people. For not being better at this. For not being more in control.
So I resort to laying on the couch and eating cereal. Hoping the empty calories will keep the other things at bay.