Monday, April 14, 2008

Directions for the directionless

This weekend, my sister Ky and I went to visit my Auntie Coral. While it is not a long trip (only 4 1/2 hours) we only make it once a year or so. This is mainly due to the fact I do not like to leave the house. It is true. The only reason I do leave the house is I am forced to in order to earn a living to allow me to stay inside the house again.

We packed up the three dogs into my car and headed West. We prayed it wouldn't rain, but I brought Valium for Madison just in case. We lucked out and there was only a little bad weather between sunny bursts. The roads were clear, however instead of taking the path I know well, I decided it would be quicker to take the direct (and somewhat back way) route. You know, as the crow flies.

Turns out, I have no idea where I was going. I started off on the right path and then we got into the boonies. The signs disappeared shortly after and there we were - in the dark, on bad roads, directionless. Then my engine light came on. We continued driving for some time until we realized the road ahead of us actually ended. And we didn't know which way to turn. So, I did what any intelligent person would do. I guessed.

My ability to determine directions are somewhat flawed. In the city, as long as I know where the mall is I can tell you the direction. I am likely to mutter "Never Eat Shredded Wheat" under my breath before I do, but I usually get it right. In the dark, in the boonies, in an area I don't know well?? Not so much.

I was sure I knew where I was going. Ky was less sure and suggested we look at a map. I wasn't even sure I had a map. I told Ky to look in the side compartment of her door. There were two maps. One of BC. (Ever so handy, since I rarely have been there.) The other was a world atlas. Not so likely to have back roads listed. As luck would have it, the town was listed on the map of our rectangled province and showed us basically where we should turn. Ky told me to look for a town name Tyner. And so we scoured the blackness looking for signs of life.

We eventually stumbled on Tyner the "town". One house, a truck and 6 grain bins. From there it was smooth sailing.


  1. Sure, but the world atlas at least gave you some vague idea of where you were in relation to the rest of the continent!

  2. This is true. I learned quite quickly we are no where near Louisianna. You can imagine my confusion.

  3. Your Brother14/04/2008, 23:00

    Dude, what was wrong wiht your engine?

  4. Bro: I wish I knew. I called to get it checked out and was assured that if it wasn't flashing it wasn't a big deal. I take it in on Tuesday next week for a check up. It had a check up last Tuesday, so I assume they just screwed something up.


Crap monkies say "what?"