Monday, March 10, 2008

Why do I try new things?

When Ky and I went grocery shopping, I saw a fruit which caught my attention. It was called "Strawberry Papaya". It sounded very exotic and fancy and neat. I picked it up and weighed it in my hand. I liked the feel of it, the shape and the way it was kind of soft but not too soft. I decided to buy it. Ky warned against it saying I would regret it. I "pshawed" her.

I carried the glorious piece of fruit to and from work for two days. I didn't want to ruin the joy I was experiencing by the knowledge I had greatness with me. Certainly the blending of two fruits would be stupendous? I had to pick the right time.

Last night, I decided I had waited long enough. I cut open the fruit. To reveal the grossest interior of a fruit known to man. It was filled with tiny little black seeds that looked as though bugs had crawled into the fruit and layed copious amounts of their crawly little eggs.

Undaunted, I scooped out the bug eggs and looked to the flesh of the fruit. It was easy enough to remove from the skin, so I separated it into a bowl. And then I smelled it. It smelled bad. Like a sweet version of something tasteless but vile. I wasn't sure I could do it. The fruit of my dreams was quickly becoming a nightmare. And then I tasted it. As Lyn put it, it tastes kind of like assholes.

So, I did what I normally do with something I can't stomach eating but don't want to waste. I fed it to the dogs. Now their breath smells like this disgusting version of butt and fruit. Every time they come near me I want to hurl. I am pretty sure I never want to do anything like this again.

Also, I realized after some thought, I've never liked papaya.


  1. This probably isn't something I should admit, but this makes me want to try that fruit.

  2. You have finally left me speechless, or rather typeless. From now on, don't buy any combination of Papaya - actually don't buy any combination fruit. It's a slippery slope...

  3. Gwen: let me know what you think. Maybe I did something wrong.

    Mandy Lou: Score one for me. But you're right, no more combination fruit for me. Although, the mango-pineapple looked cool. Kidding.

  4. To be fair to the whole realm of combination-fruits, apple-pears are actually really good.

    But usually it is a good bet to stay clear from exotic stuff.

  5. I know dogs for whom fruit/butt breath would be an improvement.

    Just trying to put the whole thing in perspective. :)

  6. I'm normally a fan of combination fruits. I hear that pluots are where it's at. Also: tangelos. I'm pretty sure that tangelos are Janny's favourite.

    I looked up pluots on Wikipedia, and they gave me a list of other combination fruits whose names give me joy:


  7. I like papayas.

    By the way, when did Lynn eat an asshole? Just curious.


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