42 - 45 x365: The Ryan's

Sometimes a name seems to follow you. In high school, that name was Ryan. I dated 2 within the span of a few months and had encounters with countless others.

#42: Ryan

He was a friend of a friend of mine who was in my Grade 10 art class. I may have spoken to him three or four times. He was short and squat with huge glasses. You would think this would make him quiet and unsure of himself, but he was loud and obnoxious and offensive. One day during class, he handed me a note declaring his undying love. When I told him that I wasn't interested but thank you for the compliment, he spread it around school that I was a lesbian. I wasn't offended or even surprised. I was however interested that his only excuse for not wanting to date him was that I was into chicks. And not that he was vile.

#43: Tall Ryan

The first of the many Ryan's I would briefly date over the years, he towered over me at an impressive 6'7". He was tall and skinny and I'm not entirely sure why I dated him other than that he asked. We dated for 27 days. 7 days of which I was out of town. I watched a weird anime movie with him and then made him watch The Chipmunk Adventure.

As a way to break the ice into physical contact, he brought his grandmother's electric back massager to my house. It was creepy and odd and didn't quite work out the way he intended. It shorted out and almost set my shirt on fire.

That night as he left to go home, he leaned in for a kiss. Our noses bumped and then I shut the door in his face.

I broke up with him by putting a note in his locker telling him to come get his massager. He never did and a year later I threw it out.

#44: Ryan C

We dated for a total of 5 days. He was older, he had a car and he was friends with a guy throwing a party that my friend and I wanted to go to. He was my first kiss. When I broke up with him, he cried.

#45: Ryan S

He was very mischievous and got me into trouble a lot back in the day. We had a rivalry going for who could play the best prank of the other. I put peanut butter on his car door handles and wrote in lipstick on his windows. He covered my Dad's entire van in vegetable oil.