Friday, August 17, 2007

Apple a day

I have an apple tree in my backyard. It's not a large apple tree, but it's substantial enough to have a good quantity of apples on it. I don't bake with them. I don't eat them. I have no use for them. Most of them end up on my lawn.

I hate this tree and plan to either hack the crap out of it - thus ensuring only a few branches will bare (bear?) fruit - or I will remove the whole damn thing. The tree either drops mushy rotten apples on my lawn to draw the ants or keeps the mushy rotten apples firmly attached to the branch to allure angry wasps. Either way, I hate this tree.

I have noticed of late the tree has been dropping a lot more apples. And good, ready to use (but not by me), apples at that. Every day or two I gather them up and toss them away. I figure the 10 second rule doesn't apply here. But apart from it being time to harvest them, I couldn't figure out why they were falling so fast. Until today.

Today I was out playing ball with the dogs. I saw Montel saunter up to the tree, jump up on his hind legs, remove an apple from the branch and play with it for a few minutes. He would then get bored and head back to the tree for another play toy.

So much for me telling him that toys don't grow on trees.


  1. This is why I took a chainsaw to my apple tree.

  2. remember our huge apple tree? i hated picking up apples from that thing.

    a few apples would always fall onto your side of the yard as well. i remember my mom was outside in the backyard and she felt apples start to hit her - she thought they were just falling off the tree.

    turns out your dad was on the other side of the fence throwing them at her.


  3. Good thing you didn't eat those apples after Monty had been after them.


  4. Are the apples good? You could try making jelly. I'd come and make it with you! Apple jelly is awesome.


Crap monkies say "what?"