Sunday, July 22, 2007

And the ants came marching in

When I was 4 or 5, we lived in a house that had a white picket fence. I was just tall enough to scale it's lofty heights and flee the backyard. I did this on numerous occasions to go hide in the grass in the alley and pretend I was scoping out the interior jungle or just to taunt my little brother.

One day, I jumped the fence and happened to land in a red ant hill that was just on the perimeter of the yard. I stood there a moment before I realized what was going on. Soon, I realized my tube top shorts one piece was filled with the tiny creatures. I could feel them crawling all over my skin and it was the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced. I jumped the fence again, grabbed my Dad's flat shovel, went back over the fence again and beat the tar out of the ant hill. When Mom came out to see what I was doing, she found me on the outside of the yard, covered in ants, crying my face off and slamming the shovel on the ground repeatedly. I never quite recovered. To this day, if I think about it at all, I can still feel the ants on me.

Fast forward to last night.

I bought a ton of beef from my friend, Jess's fiance. The butcher asked if I wanted the bones from the cow included for soup. I thought making soup was a bit out of my league, but the bones would be good for the dogs. Last night, I decided to give them a treat (and subsequently keep them out of my hair for awhile) and gave them each a beef bone. (Vicki's was bigger than her head - highly amusing. I took pictures.) I wouldn't let them bring it into the house because that would be gross, but I did let them all hang outside for as long as they wanted. When I went to bed, I brought the dogs in, made sure the bones didn't follow and thought nothing more.

When the dogs went out this morning - not to go to the bathroom, but because they woke up and realized they could be out chewing bones - the bones were covered in wasps and (GASP) red ants. I was beside myself. I chased off the wasps and picked up the bones with a plastic bag. The red ants swarmed everywhere. I panicked. I made sure to kill every ant on the bones in the bag and... I brought them in the house. I figured having the bones in the house would be less of a problem for me than having red ants outside.

But now I can't sleep because I can feel ants on me. In my profession, I would likely suggest I needed meds for my hallucinations.

1 comment:

  1. Don't worry Lady, I do the same thing with ticks. If I see one I can feel them crawling on me for days and I can't sleep. Damn disgusting bloody insects.


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