Friday, July 21, 2006

Avoiding the other side

There is a family reunion this weekend. I am going to the lake instead. There is nothing I dislike more than being forced into a small room with a bunch of people I am unfortunately related to and have to coexist. I am going to see my Aunt who is also avoiding the reunion. (The non-crazies always do their best to be occupied on these weekends.) For as much as I tease Grandma about being crazy, she is a different sort of crazy than my father's side of the family.

My father's side of the family is unstable. Most of them are in great need of medication to correct this. However, half of them believe that if you take enough vitamins you will live forever and the other half believe the pharmacutical companies are running a scam. This side of the family is full of paranoid people who discuss when the world is going to end. They are sweet, bizarre, freaks of nature and I love them all dearly. But God help me, if I am going to spend a weekend with them.

Here is the itinerary of the reunion: (mind you, this is MY version of it, so it may be even more than this)
  1. watch video of dead relatives trip to Ireland
  2. listen to tape of dead relatives funerals
  3. visit grave sites of numerous dead relatives
  4. go to homestead of dead relatives
  5. talk about dead relatives and how lucky they are that they don't have to pay taxes
  6. eat
In my version, they visit the farm where my father grew up and setting it a blaze, roast marshmellows on my grandfather's bones while it all burns... but that has to do with my own issues.

I am going to the lake. Without the dogs. I will sleep, eat and play scrabble. The world is right once again.


  1. Why didn't I hear about this?

    Not that I would have gone....

    But still.

  2. No Jen, it's not the part of the family that's related to you. It's Great-Grandma's side of the family.

    Does the fact that I'm back on the West Coast before the reunion make me a normal part of the family? However, last summer's reunion (of the Jen part of the family) sounded fun. Mostly because of the British people.

  3. The reunion was pretty funny last summer. The highlights:
    - the wedding upstairs that played "The Entertainer"
    - the wedding reception was across the street that had a sign that said
    T & A ->
    pointing to the backyard. If you don't understand why that is funny, I'm not explaining it.
    - Uncle Jim praying for all of other those who are not "entirely all together". Meant to pray for those who was not at the reunion but it was still very appropriate for our family.
    - My grandma's cousin introducing me to my grandma
    - trying to bob your head from side to side and wave your hands twice as fast. That might not make sense but it did pass the time.

  4. I had forgotten about the bobbing our heads to the side and waving our hands. Holy crap that was so much fun.
    I wish I'd gone to the RR now. Poor Ben and Lisa, lacking my company and hair advice.

  5. I still maintain that it doesn't matter which side of Dad's family it is. They are ALL missing a good portion of the sanity gene.

  6. Even me?

    By the way: Ky, Liam and I got a terrible self-portrait taken of our West Coast RR. Instead of "Cheese!" we yelled "Dead people!" (And we spent ours at French Beach instead of Rosetown.)


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