Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Vacation tales

Two words. Rain and hillbillies. It was bizarre. After getting a sunburn at home, I head out to the lake where it rained for two days until it was time to come home again. Just my luck!

The trip started out with a visit to crazy Grandma. She had just gotten home from the hospital while awaiting surgery on May 29th. She met me at the door with her pants hiked up under her boobs and her shirt tucked in. She was just collar and belt.

Crazybarefeet and her kids travelled in a convoy enroute to NB. They stayed overnight on their way to Alberta in the rooms on the main floor of Grandma's building (an old orphanage that has been renovated). There was a young people's gathering going on at the grounds, so I took her kids A. and M. to go have a snack with the other youth after church. Her 14 year old A. went with me to the service. I'm pretty sure he thought it was odd. I didn't have the heart to tell him that it was nothing like how odd it normally is! But M. told me after snacks that she loved it there because everyone knew everyone else.

I travelled by myself up to the cabin the next day. The dogs did quite well until I hit the gravel road. Then all three of them tried to climb onto my lap at once. Monty and Maddy shared my lap and then Vicki climbed up my arm, over my head and perched a top one shoulder.

The time at the cabin was good with exception of the constant rain. It was tough to keep all the dogs occupied while keeping them in the cabin and out of the mud. They did get in trouble once where they ran out the door and to the neighbouring cabin. The woman told me she didn't mind them coming to visit, but she drew the line at them peeing on her flowers. Apparently, she then felt the need to go out with a bucket of water and wash each plant individually after.

The best was meeting my Aunt's family. Not "the best" in a really good way, but in an entertaining way. They were hillbillies of the nth degree. It was wild. Everyone there knew exactly how many days/weeks/years it had been since their last drink. Everyone knew how to get a muskrat out from under the cabin. Everyone had beer bellies and dirty hats. Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) had a gun and a fishing rod within arms reach and knew how to use them. Everyone had one out of the following: mullets, high bangs, oversized sweatshirts, tight jeans, acid wash, bald heads but with a pony tail, beer shirts, etc.

My favourite part though was the cutest little boy who was almost 2. His mom would sit him on her lap and aim her fingers at him. She'd say "Put'em up. Put your hands up" and slowly he would put his hands way above his head. She would swoop in and tickle him like crazy until he put his arms by his sides in self-defence. Then she would do it again. He would slowly put his hands up - he knew what was coming and wanted to protect himself, but couldn't help wanting to do it anyways. She would get him again and he would laugh and laugh.

Apart from that, I had a decent trip. Stopped by Ky's and picked up her dog and some plants for Janny. (Hey Janny. Your plants are at my house.) Helped some dude stranded on the side of the road. Came home, walked the dogs, tried to protect the dogs from Davy and watched a few episodes of Angel before heading to work. All in all, it was a busy weekend. I think I need a holiday.


  1. l"Helped some dude stranded at the side of the road"
    Helped him how? Changed a tire? Replaced a fan belt? Gave him a kiss so he felt less suicidal and more able to continue on his way? Made him a sandwich? WHAT?

  2. I let him use my cell phone. Happy?


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