Monday, April 12, 2010

Monty: the dog, the dunce

If you've been around me at all, you know Monty.  Here he is below looking sad that I am busy doing something other than playing with him.

Mommy, don't you love me anymore?
He is the sweetest dog on the planet.

He is also the dumbest.

Montel is a simple pup.  He likes four things: sleeping, eating, playing, and being with me.  That is all.  It's a good life and he is happy.  Except when he cannot be with me or when he cannot be playing with me.  Then he is not happy.  In fact, he is pouty.

Today, for the first time this week, I was able to take Monty outside for a good long walk.  Earlier this week I was working, then I was sick, then it was so windy in our city that chunks from our largest buildings kept falling off.  Today, I gathered Monty, threw on my Shape-Up shoes, and went for a walk.

It was lovely outside.  I had a light jacket on over a tank top and I was nicely warmed.  The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, children were playing.  I usually walk Monty while throwing the ball for the first little while -- it gives him a chance to run crazy and I don't have to fight with him.  Also, he seems to listen better off leash than he does on.

We played ball until we came to the area where there are numerous dogs and traffic.  I threw on his leash and we walked the rest of the way to the park.  I let him off leash and threw the ball.

Right towards him.  Right over his head.

He couldn't find it.  He searched and turned circles and sniffed.  It lay 10 feet from him and he couldn't find it. I walked over to where it lay and then Monty came over and grabbed it at a dead run.  He was so proud when he brought it back to me and dropped it at my feet.  Like he found it all on his own.

So, I threw it again.  Just left of him.  He saw it go.  He watched it land.  He raced over to it.

And completely went right passed it.

It seems that if the ball goes where he is not expecting it (even by a foot) he cannot find it.  He's not blind!  I can throw a piece of food at him and he can usually find it.  But there is something about this poor dog that is lacking.  Like five cans in a six pack, he's just not all there.

Sometimes, I will take his treats and hide them around the living room.  I make sure he's watching when I hide them.  He sits and watches while I tuck them into his blanket, under a pillow, at the edge of the coffee table.  Then I tell him to go find them.

He has no idea where they are.

I have to give him hints.  Lead him to the couch and ask "Where's your treat?"  He sniffs and searches.  He cannot figure it out.  Finally, he will stumble across one accidentally and be very proud of himself.  After a lot of coaxing on my part, he can usually find them all.  And then he wants to play again.

Seriously, he's a nice boy, but he's as dumb as a stick.


  1. "Dumbest"? Seriously? In a world where Big Puppy exists?

  2. He ain't no Border Collie, that is for sure.

    Dogs may not see so well, I heard. You would think his sniffer would help a bit. Or he could simply have a short memory, measured in nanoseconds.

    But he is so lovable. And so anxious to please. Unlike Vicki whose entire life can be summed up as Meh!

  3. That's exactly like my old dog. (Not Rider) She was the same breed so maybe it's a breed thing.

    My brother and I used to play hide and go seek with her. We'd hide and then yell, "Come find me!" and she'd go crazy. Once my brother hid in the stand up laundry basket and broke it. That was pretty much the end of that game.

  4. I once heard that you can test a dog's intelligence by putting a towel over their head and watching how long it takes them to shake the towel off. My dog has been walking around with a dish cloth on her head for a few hours. I think she'd be a good playmate for your pooch. If they could find each other!

  5. Crazybarefeet: You're right. Big Puppy wins.

    Dad: That he is. A sweet thing, but not so bright. Sound familiar?

    NQA: The Guy plays hide and seek with Monty too. Hides in the closet with the doors open. Monty watches him go in -- nothing.

    Joey: We did that to one of our dogs. He promptly laid down and went to sleep.


Crap monkies say "what?"