Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Hey lady, your LAME is showing.

Today I went shopping.  Not to the mall, I don't hate myself that much, but to the strip mall where the parking sucks half as badly.  It still sucks though.

I trundled along, minding my own business, and spotted a parking space right where I needed it -- in between the two stores I needed to go to.  There was a truck in front of me, but he turned into the row and kept going passed the spot.  Score!  I zipped in.

I looked up and saw the truck had backed up toward me.  I saw another van down further that was pulling out, so assumed the truck backed up to make room.  I got out of the car and carried on my way.

It was then a middle aged woman came flying out of the truck.  She headed directly for me and had mad written all over her flustered, red face.

"He could have backed into you." she stammered.  "You had no right to do that."

I realized she meant he was planning to back into the parking spot.  At first I felt horribly about it -- I am no parking spot stealer.  But then, I realized he had not been signalling.  In fact, he had driven right passed it and never signalled.  So, I told her that he hadn't signalled, so I had not realized that was his intention.  I apologized, but reitterated that he had not signalled, so I could not know.  I carried on towards the store.

She followed me -- harping the whole way as I went to enter the store.  Then, she quoted a line from Fried Green Tomatoes.  Actually, she misquoted it.  "You should be more polite to older people with bigger trucks and more insurance."

I stopped, looked at her, and -- like any normal human would have -- I laughed.  Out loud.  To her face.  I replied that my insurance was in good shape, so I wasn't too worried.  I turned away.

I feel bad about stealing his spot.  Had the woman been nicer, I would have offered to move.  But the fact that she harped at me, followed me, and then attempted to threaten me with a veiled insult from an early 1990s movie, I just couldn't hold in the laughter.

Although, maybe I should watch my back.  I would hate to be next week's BBQ entree.


  1. Were you with me that time I stole a woman's parking spot in the lot across from Sears? It totally flabbergasted your mother and siblings as it was totally out of character and to this day I have no idea why I did it. Other than she too drove wast it and was taking the long route through the lot to come back to it.

  2. I endorse your keeping the spot. Not just because the woman was a nutjob; okay, partly because she was a total nutjob. But mostly because I'm coming to the rather strong belief that if a person doesn't signal, his/her car shouldn't be capable of moving in the direction s/he wanted to go. It's courtesy to the other drivers that you signal your intention, and if you can't be bothered to do it, then I can't be bothered to be sympathetic when you don't get what you want.
    Okay, rant over. (Except for in my head, where I'm still raging just a little bit. People who don't signal annoy the hell out of me.)

  3. I would have moved it. Why? Because it's the nut jobs of the world who feel that keying your car balances the voices in their heads.

  4. Rae - it is MEN who do not signal, at least in Regina. Women signal much more often.

  5. The spot was totally fair game if he drove past it, and especially if he didn't signal. Also, I think backing into parking spots is stupid and just asking for an accident in a parking lot. I'm glad you laughed in her face.

  6. Your brother03/01/2010, 00:28

    The only people who ever need to back in to parking spots are bank robbers. Period. In fact I'd venture at your local casino's they have rules to that affect.

    And also why am I never around when this random crap happens to my far too nice sister's???

  7. I often "back that thing up," but there is no presumption of ownership when you drive past with followers on.

    Besides, this lady was not the driver of the victim?? WTF annoying parking morality police?


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