Since I couldn't get the dog into a groomer until January, I decided to cut her myself. Armed with a pair of scissors, a comb, trimmers, numerous guides of all heights, a brush, and a sense of optimism, I sat down with Vicki. Grandma tried to help hold Vicki in place, but eventually I had to encourage her to go do dishes because she seemed to be choking Vicki unintentionally. Think Of Mice of Men but with an old lady and a fuzzy dog.
Vicki, so far looking pleased.
I started by bathing Vicki and blowing her dry with my hair dryer. I had tried to brush her out, but she was covered in matted hair. Top to bottom. I think there was a spot on her ear that didn't have a mat, but it was covered by a mat. I brushed her out as best I could. The top of her head wasn't matted, so I decided to start there. I got the clippers ready to go and turned them on. Suddenly, Vicki shrieked and squirmed and fought. Turned the clippers off, Vicki calm. On -- freak out. Off -- calm. Crap.
Vicki partly trimmed.
I took the scissors and the comb and started hacking. Grandma stood above me and fretted that I would stab Vicki in the eyes accidentally with the pointy end of the scissors. I tried to remind her I've been using these kinds of scissors since I passed Kindergarten, but it fell on deaf ears. Literally. WEAR YOUR HEARING AID, GRANDMA.
I had to push the tip of the scissors through the matted hair and saw away until it cut. Vicki wasn't overly thrilled with my technique. She fussed, but I prevailed. We took enough hair off the dog to create another dog. And she was still matted!
Not quite done yet. But look at the hair!
I cut and cut. I accidentally snipped skin a couple of times. I cut and cut more, but Vicki was still matted and still hairy. However, all I had managed to do was make her look as though she had once been covered in hundreds of pieces of bubble gum. Lyn couldn't keep a straight face and even Grandma exclaimed "That is a sorry looking dog". I tried to fix what I had done, but I only made it worse. I even accidentally gave Vicki a Hitler moustache. And you know who doesn't look good in Hitler moustaches? Anyone. But also Vicki.
Vicki and her sad little haircut.
She turned out being cleaner and shorter, but definitely not cuter. Next time, she's going to a groomer.