Sunday, February 08, 2009

Punishment by dog

L-R: Vicki, Montel and Madison hog my bed.

Today as I napped on the couch, the dogs got into a fight over a bone. The bone they had put on my leg while I slept. I woke up in complete shock with Vicki's teeth embedded firmly in the flesh of my palm as she fought Monty for chewing rights. I made my way through the fog of sleep to separate them with my body, sitting on Montel and putting my elbow into Vicki's throat. For little buggers, they are mean and determined and willing to fight to the death. Now, hours later with my palm still throbbing and swelling up, I am thankful I'm up to date on my tetanus shots.*

What I have learned from this lesson is twofold. First, have Vicki's teeth removed. Secondly, Vicki is doing me a favour by being a right b*%#$ this week. In seven days, Vicki and I leave on a jet plane to go visit Ky. Vicki will be staying behind with Ky when I come home.

I have been vacillating between being thrilled and being terrified. I am looking forward to being down a dog, but I think I'm going to miss having Vicki around. She is the most affectionate of the dogs while she wants the least in return.

Madison is visibly the most affectionate but it's only in an attempt to get affection in return. Madison sits on your chest, puts a paw on either side of your face (so you can't escape) and licks you to death. It's her way of saying "Love me! Love me! LOOOOVE MEEEEE!!!!"

Montel is different. He doesn't easily show affection unless he knows that's his ticket to not being touched any more. His need for attention comes in a different form than kisses and cuddles. He is like the 5 year old boy with attachment issues. "Hey Mom! Mom! Mom! Look!!! Hey Mom look at me!! I have a toy!! MOM!!!! MOM!!"

Vicki is less demanding. She will cuddle when she feels like it, leave when she doesn't, and just wants to make sure you know she cares. I like Vicki a lot more than I used to. She cuddles with me on my pillow and snores in my ear. So, I know I will miss her.

After this week, however, it will not be as much. Not only for the recent assault, but also the following reasons:
  1. There will be no need to run a poopy mouth check at 3am.
  2. There will be no need to brush Vicki's teeth at 3am if the answer to poopy mouth check is yes
  3. There will be no need to wash my face 25 times if I forget to do the poopy mouth check and the answer is yes.
  4. No more being the victim of puppy rage
  5. No more sharing my pillow.
  6. No more worrying about a dog falling off the back of the couch if I lean forward for my drink
  7. No more dried pieces of poop stuck to the back of her curly bum hair found when I smell something amiss on my pillow
So, I will be glad to have the week left with her and yet will be glad when she leaves next week.

* Has anyone else noticed how many words contain the word "anus"? I'm just saying. Keep an eye out. There are bum holes everywhere.


  1. that's a whole lot of puppy poopy.

  2. I hope Ky realizes what she's getting herself into! lolol

    But yeah, you'll totally miss her when she's gone. And I LOVE that header pic!

  3. LOVE your header. I haven't seen you around and hope I've done nothing to diss you. Meanwhile, your dad has been keeping me from being totally devoid of all members of the family.


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