Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Dream ghost

The other night, I dreamt I invited my mom to supper with me and The Guy. "I'm making stew," I told her, "and it wouldn't be much trouble." I woke up the next morning with the absolute belief my mother was coming for supper.

It's been almost five years since Mom died and still, when I dream about her, I forget she is supposed to be dead. It doesn't make me sad any more -- to wake up and realize she is not, in fact, joining me for supper. Now, it's just a fact of life, a recognition of what is real and what isn't. Sure it still sucks, but it's not soul crushing. It just is.

I find it interesting that my subconscious (or whatever part of my brain makes dreams) always has her playing herself but alive. I guess it lets me have a few normal moments with her again. I think I will take them and be grateful.

The stew wasn't ready on time and really didn't look appetizing when it was done, so it's likely not a bad thing she didn't show.

Five Star Friday


  1. She would have liked the stew anyway, I'm sure.

    I love having those dreams--little bits of mom back again.

  2. I love you guys.
    By the way, my posting word is "stiff". A little gallows humour.

  3. I have those dreams too, about my dad. At first, it freaked me out, and I thought maybe it was some message from "the beyond". Now, 5 years later, I just like the fact that my brain still lets me think of him, and see him once in a while.

  4. Whenever I dream about someone close to me that has passed away, I always think of it as their way of coming to visit.

  5. I never dream about people I was close to that have passed. I think it might be nice, once in a while.

  6. I'm glad you still get to have those dream moments with her.


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