Victim in the making

Every time I read those articles telling women how not to get raped, I wonder "How is it that I am not attacked and brutally murdered more often?" The answer is, I have no idea.

Tonight, as I was heading into work, it occurred to me I do everything wrong. I pull into the parking lot which has no lights. I turn off the car, pull out the keys and throw them in my purse. I open the car door, prop it open with one foot, and lock the door. And then.

Then. I gather my things together in order to prepare myself to get to the door. Here is the first place I could be axed and murdered. I gather my purse, my lunch bag, my jacket, my water bottle, my Tim's tea, and then I get out of the car. It takes at least 5 minutes to do this. Five very open minutes where I am not constantly scoping my surroundings.

I walk from my car to the back door of my office. I set down my water bottle and lunch bag. I shuffle my jacket from one arm to the other and search in my purse for my swipe card. I balance my purse on my knee, my tea into my other hand, and swipe my card. I prop open the back door, move my things from the ground into the building and let the door shut behind me. In case you weren't paying attention, this is the second time people could rape and/or murder me. And no one would notice.

Well, that's not true. I am lucky that we park directly behind the police station. So, our parking lot is relatively safe. That has not stopped us from finding the occasional street person pooping right beside our back door, but for the most part it is quite safe. Also, there are people going in and out of the back of our building on a steady basis from 7am until 6pm. It's just the midnight hours that people might not notice the door hitting my limp, and rapidly cooling, body right away.

I should be more careful. Every once in a while, I think "This time I am going to be more aware." But I'm not. I'm completely unaware and not likely to change any time soon. I should, but I assure myself I am not going to be one of those women. Colour me embarrassed if I'm wrong.