Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Name, rank, disorder

I had a run in with an interesting young man last night, who introduced himself to me in one breath. "Hi, my name is Jacob* and I have a mental health disorder and a low IQ." I had to pause at that. It is not the first time I have come across someone who has introduced themselves like that. They provide their name and a run down of their challenges, illnesses and disabilities.

"Hi, I'm Gladys and I'm bipolar."
"I'm Bob, I have HepC. This is Janey. She's slow."

It's very interesting what people identify themselves as being. I think we should all do that. I've decided to introduce myself to new people this way.
"Hi! I'm Bronwyn. I'm an emotional eater and have unresolved issues of rage."

Imagine how free our society would be.

"I'm Bill. I wet my bed until I was 15."
"Hi, I'm Maisey. I'm into necrophilia."
"Hello, I'm Gerald. I have uncontrollable flatulence and a mother complex."

How would you introduce yourself?

*Names and disorders have been changed to protect any privacy issues that may arise.


  1. Hi, my name is Al and I father strange children.
    Did you really tell Dana Wyzard the first time she asked, that your father was Black? Now you have to appologize to all Black people everywhere.

  2. Hi I am Jen and I am recovering from low self esteem and poor body image. I currently experience troubles with social anxiety.

  3. I did look super awesome at the wedding though. I have no trouble acknowleging that.

  4. My name is Maryanne, and I procrastinate.

    (What? Too obvious?)

  5. My name is Lyn and I used to like the name Maisey.

  6. My name is Tami and I am a loner personality with unrepentent OCD.

  7. Hi. My name is Dana and I won't remember YOUR name even after you tell me for the fifth time. I am also phobic and suffer from ADD. oh look! A chicken!! And I can make these facial expressions like I care and like I"m really listening to you when I couldn't care less and....oh look! A chicken!

    And admit it, you DID show a photo of a black man, about five months ago, and you introduced him as your dad.

    I can see why you would do that, now that I've met the real one.

  8. I thought of one!
    Hi, I'm Jamie and I'm an impatient binge drinker with self esteem and anxiety issues.
    That is depressing.
    I should probably work towards changing that.

  9. Hi, I'm Gwen. I have depression, anger, commitment and family issues, a low tolerance for stupidity and bullshit, I'm loud-mouthed, opinionated and I tend to be blunt and inappropriate.

  10. Hi, I'm Sherry. I suffer from mood swings and an addiction to Lays Potato Chips.
    Wow. That was liberating.


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