Monday, December 31, 2007

Dontcha Wish Your Girlfriend was Hot Like Me?

I try not to be an ugly person. I shower, brush my teeth, wash my face and sometimes, I even put on makeup. I'm not stunningly gorgeous, but neither am I a dog. Unless its a kind of cute dog.

The point I am trying to make is that I need you to remember that. In fact, take a look at this first picture to remind yourself. Yes, it's from 3 years ago, but I still look pretty much like that. See? Not so gross.

The reason I need you to remember that I am not, in fact, hideously ugly is the next picture in the series. I have been sick on and off for awhile now, but yesterday and today took the cake. It was when I got up this afternoon to take a crap load of drugs that I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Brace yourselves.

I look like the loser of a prize fight. I have the breathe-right nose strip on so I can breathe at all. I have the swollen look of retaining too much fluids and the vague look of death in my eyes. My hair is held back by my eye mask which I pushed up briefly to avoid walking into walls.

The best part?

I have a New Years Eve party in 4 hours. I may have to start getting ready now or I won't make it.


  1. You still don't look a day over 35 sweetie!

    I'll get a punch in the arm next time I see you and I don't even care! He he.

  2. I am going to end you. 35. You're a jerk.

    Although, it's better than The Guy's reaction which was "Ugh. I mean, you don't look that bad."


Crap monkies say "what?"